Episode 2: Crushes

In this episode, Mirissa and her guest discuss different types of attraction and their associated crush type. 

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Transcript

Mirissa: 0:00

What's up GIRL? This is Mirissa, and welcome to I hate the sound of my own voice. It's important to remember that when listening to this podcast being a G I R L is very important. So let me explain. G stands for genuine this podcast, discusses topics in an authentic and candid way. So being a genuine listener means practicing empathy and understanding. I stands for intelligent as an intelligent listener. Think of every episode of this podcast as a learning opportunity. This podcast is a way for both speakers and listeners to think. In unconventional ways and broaden their horizons. R stands for respectful. There may be things that are set on this podcast that listeners don't like, or may not agree with. That's completely understandable. This podcast is a safe space where speakers and listeners are respected for their differences without judgements or negativity. And of course L stands for listener. This podcast is not only for the host or for the guests, but also for the audience of listeners. Join the community of G I R Ls to ask questions and learn more about the aromantic space or arospace, as I like to call it. And yes, guys can be girls too. All my socials will be mentioned at the end of the show. And as always shout out to, I sound beats for the wonderful intro and outro music. All right, girls. We are now entering the arospace. I hope you learn something and enjoy. Alright.Welcome back for another episode of I hate the sound of my own voice. I'm your host, Mirissa. In case you guys have never listened to another episode. I'm 26 years old. My pronouns are she, her. I live right outside of Charlotte, North Carolina. And this is my podcast. And yes, I definitely hate the sound of my own voice. It's annoying, but it is what it is. I'm so excited for this episode because I have a very special guest with me today. This is one of my friends I've known for the longest time. I love her so much and we are going to be having an interesting discussion today because this topic is juicy. I, I'm so excited. So without further ado, guest, can you introduce yourself, please?

Nailah: 2:02

Hi guys my name is Nailah. I am 25 years old, my pronouns are she her, I am from the same place as Mirissa, which is right outside of Charlotte, North Carolina, I want to be a guest on the podcast because, I mean, truly, truly I love Mirissa and she's always got the tea and we're always chit chatting it up and so we might as well record it for y'all. But yeah, I'm really excited about this topic. Very

Mirissa: 2:32

So Nailah, what is our topic for today?

Nailah: 2:36

Our topic is crushes. Come on now. Come on. Y'all know

Mirissa: 2:41

we're talking about crushes today and So basically it's a twofold type of thing. We're talking about crushes But also different types of attractions or different types of crushes based off of different types of attraction So in the last episode, episode one, We talked about the split attraction model with my guest Cheyenne and we were just discussing how romantic and sexual attraction are not one in the same. They're actually two different things. And there is a, the split attraction model also known as SAM, the acronym for it, to explain that framework because all of it is on kind of like a spectrum or gradient or bell curve. It's not this very cut and dry thing, the way I think most people view attraction and romantic and sexual attraction and orientations and things like that. It's not as cut and dry as I think most people assume that it is. It's actually very fluid. And so we're gonna, add on to that by talking about other types of attraction besides just sexual and romantic today and then also talking about the crushes that correspond with them. So, Nailah, if you could, in your own words, how would you describe a crush? Like what would be Nailah's definition of a crush?

Nailah: 3:47

Right, so a crush is any time that you see somebody, you look at somebody, you think about somebody, and you get that little like, that little butterfly, that little skip a beat, like it's, it's that. It's that feeling, whenever you have that feeling, you know you probably have a crush on whoever that person

Mirissa: 4:06

Well said, well said. And then in your own words, how would you describe Attraction?

Nailah: 4:12

So, I would typically describe attraction as whenever you feel very drawn to another person. To me, that covers different types of attraction as well that can be more sexual, can be more platonic, but whenever you just feel like drawn to a person, like literally like

Mirissa: 4:33

Just something about

Nailah: 4:33

to them, like you're just drawn to them in some way.

Mirissa: 4:36

So I know I asked you to research this topic a little bit before We recorded this episode. So when you did your research, how did that go? Like, what did you, what did you come across? Or was it, was it hard to find information about crushes and attraction? Or was it very forthcoming? And like, what did you use? Because Cheyenne was like, Google and TikTok. And she said she learned a lot.

Nailah: 4:59

Oh my gosh. I should've used TikTok. I didn't even think about it. No, TikTok would've been perfect for this. I pretty much just used, like, youTube.

Mirissa: 5:09

Okay, YouTube. Okay.

Nailah: 5:12

wasn't in a YouTube video, then I probably didn't look at it. Like, I did a tiny, tiny, tiny amount of Google search, but I didn't have time to read. I'm trying to learn on the go.

Mirissa: 5:21

Okay,

Nailah: 5:24

for me.

Mirissa: 5:25

so you used YouTube, interesting choice, interesting choice. So what were some of the things that you, that you learned from YouTube?

Nailah: 5:37

So I kind of went like a little bit left as far as like what I was supposed to be researching and then what I Was actually researching So I I know right So I went into it researching like split attraction Terminology, what it means, examples, etc, etc. But then I kind of learned more about like aromanticism and being asexual and kind of what that means further. And so like, I kind of learned I know, right? I did good, but I kind of like learned a little bit about those different aspects. But it was not a deep dive, unfortunately.

Mirissa: 6:19

now. Unfortunately,

Nailah: 6:20

but it wasn't.

Mirissa: 6:23

it's okay. You can always, you can always do a deep dive. We just don't have to go into it on this episode. But anyway, um, okay. So you, so you definitely understand now that there are different types of attraction and that there are different types of crushes that correspond with that attraction, right?

Nailah: 6:36

right? Yes.

Mirissa: 6:38

Okay, so I'm just going to go down the list, from that image that I sent you because I feel like that kind of sums up everything, that we're going to be talking about during this episode and then we were, we're going to go from there. So. What I sent Nala, you guys, is this, I found this on the internet I just googled it and I found it. So basically what it is, it's a chart that is describing split attraction terminologies. And on one, in one column it's talking about the types of attraction, in the middle it's the definitions, and then on the Um, far right column, it's the associated crush types with those types of attraction. So the first one is sexual because That's the type of attraction and the definition of sexual attraction is a desire to have sexual contact with a particular person and the Corresponding, you know crush type is instead of it being called a crush It's called a smush a smush. So if you have a sexual crush A very strong sexual attraction to someone they're known as a smush. They're your smush and so Nailah,

Nailah: 7:45

Yes.

Mirissa: 7:45

had you ever heard of a smush before?

Nailah: 7:50

I'm going to tell you, I haven't heard of any of these crushes before. I only heard it's either a crush or it's not. Okay.

Mirissa: 7:57

It's like who came up with this stuff it feels like it's so made up but at the same time It's like it's rooted in social science. So it makes sense. But these words are just like what? Okay, so do I have a smush? have a smush on someone that I don't even know, like, I, I feel like I have a very like strong sexual attraction to The Weeknd and the reason being because The Weeknd is baby daddy because I love him,

Nailah: 8:20

I'm dead. I feel like he's a good person to have a smush on though. I'm

Mirissa: 8:23

and, and right, and my thing is, see, the crazy part is I specifically have it on The Weeknd, who is a persona. The Weeknd is actually not a real person. Abel, Abel, Abel, Abel. He's the real person. Yeah Abel is the as the actual Artist and you know singer and stuff the Weeknd is just a persona that he created and that's his you know moniker that he goes by as a celebrity and it's just like I don't really I only have a crush on The Weeknd, not Able, because I feel like I don't even know Able, but The Weeknd, listens to his music, and I'm just like, whoa, like, you get me. And I feel like, since I'm a sapiosexual, for those of y'all that don't know, like, what a sapiosexual is, I develop stronger sexual attraction to someone based off of their intellect and based, and I'm also a demisexual too, and based off of my connection, emotional connection, I have a very strong intellectual and emotional connection with The Weeknd's music, and that corresponds to my sexual attraction. Yeah, so I definitely have a smush, but it's like, that smush will never become a thing because, it's The Weeknd.

Nailah: 9:32

yeah I think celebrities are a good point of reference for a few of these crush types, Smush being one of them, because, like Because they're just like their figure, like they're almost like not even a real person, it's hard to have some of these other things. And so like this idea of a person is really easy to have a smush on. It's like, yes, I want to have sex with the

Mirissa: 9:57

right, exactly. And so that's how I've kind of viewed most of these. so yeah, so we'll go on to the next one. So the next one on the list is romantic and the definition of that type of attraction is a desire to have a romantic relationship or contact with a particular person. Now that's a very vague definition in my personal opinion, but we're just going to go with it. And of course the associated crush type is called a crush. So when you have a romantic attraction towards someone, you have a crush on them.

Nailah: 10:25

The classic.

Mirissa: 10:26

And so, I personally feel like because I identify as aromantic, I don't have, I've never had a real crush in my entire life. I've called them crushes, but I've never actually had one because I've never actually been romantically attracted to anyone ever. I used to think I was, but come to find out it was a different type of attraction. so we'll get to that. But did you have anything to say about the classic

Nailah: 10:53

classic crush. I have been hurt by many of a classic

Mirissa: 10:58

I'm weak Not hurt.

Nailah: 11:01

I still think even though, no, seriously, truly, like, I think like the typical classic romantic crush, I think is how I identify majority of my grade school attractions. Like a lot of those, I felt were basic crushes. And when they didn't like me back or when they didn't say hey to me in the cafeteria that really hurt my feelings And I'm still not over it and some of y'all I know y'all are I'm not gonna name you, but I you

Mirissa: 11:31

her feelings, like, if I see you, it's on sight, period. Because why you hurt my friend's feelings? Why you do that to her? She didn't deserve that. Um,

Nailah: 11:42

why you ain't say hey to me in the cafeteria

Mirissa: 11:46

So, yeah, I just find that, I just find, uh, the romantic crush thing, the classic crush, like that's like the go to term, a crush, but it's also like, listen, I've never even had one. So it's no longer the go to term for me. We're going to keep, we're going to keep it pushing and go to the next on the list. So the next type of attraction is platonic. And so the definition of platonic attraction is a desire to have a platonic relationship with a specific person. Note: because this type of attraction is so broadly defined, it is frequently used to describe everything from plushes to friend crushes. And you will sometimes see it used in place of other more specific types of attraction. So we'll get to the plush thing in a second, but the associated crush type for a platonic crush is a squish. And I just love that term. I just, because for me, because I don't have any romantic attraction and I don't desire any type of like romantic relationship. Most relationships that I have with anyone are platonic in nature. And nine times out of 10, most of my friends or most people that I'm closer to have a stronger platonic relationship with, I have a huge squish on them or I had a huge squish on them. It was just like, they're my squish because I feel like the way I view platonic relationships is I just want the other person to like me and I want the other person to want me as their friend and I want them to want to be my friend if that makes sense. I just think that that's just such a platonic attraction is just so pure and sweet and cute and it can just be anything and I just love it so much and so I feel like. Because I have the absence of romantic attraction, my platonic attraction is very, very strong. And so I have a ton of squishes. I've had squishes probably my entire life, even though I didn't realize that was what they were. The term squish, I haven't started using that until last year.

Nailah: 13:31

Yeah, I mean, I just started using them today, so you know,

Mirissa: 13:34

So yeah, so I told you, I told you not like I haven't, I haven't, you're my squish. I have such a big platonic crush on you because I'm just, I just love you so

Nailah: 13:41

purr, I love you too. Okay. The love is there, but I feel like squishes is how I view like celebrities that I want to be friends with.

Mirissa: 13:54

Okay. I like it.

Nailah: 13:56

Like Meg the Stallion. I don't want to have sex with her. I know a lot of people do and rightfully so, but me personally, I don't want to have sex with her, but I just want to be in her presence. I want to be around her. I want her to be my friend. I want us to be bad bitches together. That's what I want.

Mirissa: 14:13

That would be a beautiful thing. Let's be real. I definitely see where you're going with that. Having a strong platonic attraction towards celebrities and wanting them to be your friends because you don't see them any other way except for like in a platonic way. And it's just like, wouldn't it be nice to be friends with these people, like just to know what they're like in real life and just be friends with them. That's just a cool thought to have. Yeah, I got, I see what you did there. I like that. That's cute.

Nailah: 14:35

Right? Yeah. Thank

Mirissa: 14:37

So next one on the list is Aesthetic, and I think this is one of the more interesting ones because you know, sexual, romantic, platonic, those are commonly used terms when it comes to relationships, but aesthetic is not usually used for relationships or attractions, normally when you think of the word aesthetic, you're thinking about things that don't have to do with people. You know, you're thinking about like interior design or nature or whatever, but for aesthetic attraction, the definition is when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person in a way that is disconnected from sexual or romantic attraction. And the associated crush type with this is called a swish. And I love that word too. Swish, like you're my swish.

Nailah: 15:19

Yeah, that's one thing I love about the crush words, is how whimsical they are. Like, it's just

Mirissa: 15:25

fun. They are very whimsical. They seem very made up, but they're real. They're real. They have meaning. But I do actually have a swish. And I mean, I have like a ton of swishes at the end of the day, but I have a swish that I'm actually friends with because that man is beautiful. And he's just so nice to look at. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. He's so nice to look at, but it's also just kind of like, I don't really have any other type of Uh, like attraction to him like that? I mean, obviously he's my friend, but it's also just like, you know, I just like to look at you and that's about it. Because if there were a sexual component there, okay. But it's also just kind of like, he's a very muscular person. So I don't think I want to have sex with a very like muscular, hard person. Cause I like soft. Squishy things. Like, I like things to be soft.

Nailah: 16:15

I'm dead. That's actually really funny.

Mirissa: 16:18

however, I guess the sexual attraction is a little bit there just because he's so nice to look at. The aesthetic attraction outweighs everything. And my thing is it's not his fault he's nice to look at. He just looks the way he looks. That's a lot of people that are aesthetically pleasing to look at. They just look that way. And so I feel like, it's very harmless to have a swish Because you just have a aesthetic attraction to them You're attracted to their appearance whether that be their beauty or their handsomeness or whatever it is and my thing is me personally Aesthetics like obviously aesthetics are different for everybody. But for me personally, I feel like I have very strong aesthetic attraction to Bigger people Usually. So it's interesting that I have a swish on someone. That's not a big person. They're just muscular, but I like bigger bodies, like plus size women, all plus size women. I have like a huge aesthetic crush on them because I just like big bodies

Nailah: 17:10

I love that.

Mirissa: 17:11

because they're soft and my thing is you can have an aesthetic crush on things that aren't people because aesthetics do apply to things that aren't just people. So I also have an aesthetic crush on pillows and blankets because they're soft. And so big people are the human equivalent of a pillow and a blanket.

Nailah: 17:26

Not you comparing people to pillows mirissa

Mirissa: 17:29

I mean, but that's just how I think about, I don't know. I just also really appreciate the softness. of big plushy people, because I just like that. I like the way it looks. I like the way it feels, if that makes sense.

Nailah: 17:40

That's fair. I get it.

Mirissa: 17:42

But I also like the way people with big boobs look, because big boobs, just look great. Everyone should appreciate big boobs.

Nailah: 17:47

boobs, no boobs. Boobs are one of those things where it's like I think I have a squish on boobs. Like, oh, not a squish, a

Mirissa: 17:57

a swish on

Nailah: 17:59

A swish on boobs. Cause boobs are really just like, Oh my gosh, Like, Like, whoa, who gave you those, girl? No way, like, I love

Mirissa: 18:09

definitely have a swish on my own boobs because they're big, but also,

Nailah: 18:12

Even, even in like, No, like, even in like, drag queens, when they put on like, the little breasteses, I'm like, Girl, the boobs are so

Mirissa: 18:23

Right.

Nailah: 18:23

look, like,

Mirissa: 18:25

I, agree. Like, I guess it's like cleavage. Like I have an aesthetic crush, a swish on cleavage. I have a swish on big boobs. I have a swish on like, I don't know, just like how, how boobs look. They just, just like boobs in general.

Nailah: 18:41

They're very pretty.

Mirissa: 18:42

yeah. And then my thing is I have an aesthetic crush on booties too But it has to be like a bubblegum booty. It has to be like a puff pastry booty. It has to be like a juicy booty. If it's a flat booty, I don't, I appreciate flat booties, but I don't have a, I don't have a swish on them.

Nailah: 18:59

Booty, my booty swish is like one of the things that made me think Oh, like I might actually like women. Because, like Because just to look at them is just so crazy. I feel like I look at

Mirissa: 19:11

Yeah, I just, I felt, I, girl, I, listen, I felt that. I definitely agree with that I feel like these types of attractions can help you figure out. your sexuality quick. If you ever contemplated, how attracted you are to someone's physical body, but you don't really care about their personality and stuff.

Nailah: 19:34

yeah,

Mirissa: 19:35

so yeah, so the aesthetic one, the swishes, the swishes like hit different, but, the next one on the list, we love a pretty, swish. The next one on the list is sensual. which is also considered physical attraction. Quick disclaimer here, sexual, sensual, and physical, do not all mean the same thing. I think a lot of people get these mixed up because when I was doing some research myself, people were getting these mixed up. So sexual attraction is you have to desire sexual intimacy or sexual relations with the person sensual and physical, is all about and physical interaction. So the definition here is the desire to interact with others in a tactile non sexual way examples hugging cuddling hand holding and the associated crush type with this is called a lush and I just I love that and I have plenty of lushes.

Nailah: 20:32

I feel like I don't have as many lushes. I feel like that was one of the crush types that like, I really lacked in.

Mirissa: 20:40

I think the reason why I have lushes is because it's the same reason why I have, swishes. Yeah,

Nailah: 20:45

the

Mirissa: 20:45

the softness.

Nailah: 20:46

softness

Mirissa: 20:46

I love to cuddle with anyone who is big and juicy and soft. And my thing is, I wish I could cuddle myself because I'm big, juicy, juicy And I have lushes on, bigger people, and so I'm trying to think of anybody that I know in real life. I know some people in real life, I guess, that I could consider myself having a lush on. I do have one friend in particular. But I've never had any type of physical anything with him. So it's yeah, boo, I know. Maybe I should like initiate it more.

Nailah: 21:16

initiate,

Mirissa: 21:20

I know, I should, I should make that my mission.

Nailah: 21:22

No, you should though.

Mirissa: 21:24

but yeah, so I don't really have Many Lushes in real life, I guess that I know but there are definitely plenty of people out there. Basically plus size models, I got a lush on all of them because I want it. I want the touch. I want them

Nailah: 21:38

Mm.

Mirissa: 21:39

I just think they They probably feel really really nice.

Nailah: 21:42

This might be one of the crushes that is highly associated with love language. If touch is high on your love language, you might be more likely to have a lush or

Mirissa: 21:52

Absolutely

Nailah: 21:53

Versus if it's kind of lower, you probably, probably don't

Mirissa: 21:57

Yeah, as far as my love languages, physical touch is not on the higher tiers out of the five of them. It's actually lower, and I think it's because, for the most part, I don't want anybody touching me. Cause my thing is germs. Um, Smell, sweat,

Nailah: 22:14

But you, okay, this is interesting, Mirissa.

Mirissa: 22:17

For the most part, I live alone and I can go days without having a hug from someone. And I realized that when I started living alone, I mean, it happened before I even lived alone, that I was going days without hugging people and having physical contact with people. And then one day I realized that and I'm just like, why do I have this urge to give people hugs and want to be held and I realize it's because like I will go days at a time without that but then if you put me in a situation where people could give me that type of contact i'm like, ewwww no

Nailah: 22:50

You don't know what you want.

Mirissa: 22:51

That's basically I guess i'm again i'm an anomaly i'm so weird. I am i'm a queerdo who Likes big bodies and wants to be held and cuddled by big bodies, but also like, ew,

Nailah: 23:08

That's actually so interesting to me. It's interesting that you can have that strong desire, those lushes. And also not want to be touched.

Mirissa: 23:17

and I'm gonna come back to that because I think I've cracked the code as to why. I'm gonna come back. Um, so, queerplatonic is the next, type of attraction on the list, and this is my favorite one, you guys. My absolute favorite one. So, the definition of queerplatonic is the desire to have a queerplatonic relationship with a specific person. And, the associated crush type names for this are called a plush a squash squash

Nailah: 23:45

I I prefer squash, I'm not gonna lie.

Mirissa: 23:48

and so for anyone that's listening that doesn't know what a queer platonic relationship is and You said you prefer which one

Nailah: 23:55

squash

Mirissa: 23:56

squash I have a tidbit about that in a second So for those of you that don't know that are listening that don't know what A queer platonic relationship is a queer platonic relationship could be virtually anything, but basically it's a relationship that is platonic in nature, but it's queer because it goes a little bit outside of the realm of platonic relations, if that makes sense. So a queer platonic relationship could look like someone like me, who's a romantic being in a relationship with another person because I don't have a romantic attraction to anybody, but that doesn't mean that I can't date and it doesn't mean that I can't get married and it doesn't mean that I can't, you know, cohabitate with someone. So if I were to have a boyfriend or have a husband or, you know, have a, you know, person that I, that I, you know, shack up with or whatever, they, in my eyes, they would be considered a queer platonic. My queer platonic person, my plush, or my squash, because I'm not in love with them, like, ew, gross. Um, they're not my one true love, like, they're not my soulmate, probably, they're just like, they're

Nailah: 25:03

Damn.

Mirissa: 25:06

My thing is the whole, I can't live without them, I just love them so much, I could live without my queer platonic person. However, it's a, a deep, connection that we have. We have intimacy. Um, we have a strong platonic connection. And my thing is like, you know, a lot of people would say, well, you can't go on dates with just like people that are just your friends. It's like, that's not true. If you're in a queer platonic relationship, you can't have sex with people that are just your friends. Not true if you're in a queer platonic relationship. So that's kind of how I think about queer. platonic relationships in my mind. And so the tidbit that I have about the plush and squash thing is, you know, a zucchini is a type of squash. And so people that are in queer platonic relationships sometimes called their partner, their zucchini, because it's a squash.

Nailah: 25:55

Aw,

Mirissa: 25:55

And I just think that's so cute.

Nailah: 25:59

no, I like that.

Mirissa: 26:01

I like plush too, because it reminds me like plushies that you can get from like, uh, like a arcade, like from, um, from the claw machine, like those, those really cute plushies. But I also like squash because then that person can be your zucchini.

Nailah: 26:14

zucchini is actually like,

Mirissa: 26:16

not the cutest thing.

Nailah: 26:17

calling somebody my little zucchini is really

Mirissa: 26:20

So my thing is my goal in life is to grow up one day and just have like a zucchini, or like maybe a couple of zucchinis. I don't know.

Nailah: 26:26

Oh,

Mirissa: 26:28

I hope one day I meet my zucchini or my zucchinis plural I just want the, uh, a zucchini roster. Listen, cause

Nailah: 26:37

Per,

Mirissa: 26:37

Okay.

Nailah: 26:39

Right. 1,

Mirissa: 26:41

really hope whoever, for people listening, or my future zucchini, if you're out there listening, please don't be alloromantic. Please be aromantic just to make both of our lives easier because If I can't fall in love with you, but you can fall in love with me, I don't think you can be my zucchini. Things will not end well. Yeah, things will not end well. And I don't wanna, I don't wanna do that to you. I don't wanna do that to myself. I don't want you to do that to yourself. So please zucchini if you're out there, please be aromantic. I know you can't really choose to be that you just kind of have to you know, you just have to have it like that. But please understand if you're alloromantic, you will probably never be my zucchini. Okay. The last one on the list is alterous attraction. And this is an interesting one. I feel like aesthetic is my favorite. Excuse me, queerplatonic is my favorite. Aesthetic makes me excited, but alterous is like, ooo. Because alterous attraction, the definition of it is, a sort of gray area between platonic and romantic attraction. It's defined as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being platonic and or romantic, and the associated crush type is called a mesh, and it just makes so

Nailah: 27:59

hmm.

Mirissa: 27:59

would be called a mesh. So, the way I feel about this, Nailah,

Nailah: 28:06

Go ahead. Talk to me.

Mirissa: 28:08

I, I want everyone to have a mesh on me. Every person in existence that I have any type of interaction with, I want them to have a mesh on me. And I want them to have a mesh on me because I want them to like me and not know why. They just be like, there's just something about Mirissa that

Nailah: 28:26

Yup. And that's on everything.

Mirissa: 28:28

her that I just like, or that I find interesting, that I'm attracted to, or that I want, I'm just drawn to her.

Nailah: 28:33

her. I want to spend time with her. I want to give her money. Yes. Everybody

Mirissa: 28:37

give her money. I

Nailah: 28:40

too, girl. Like, want to walk through the world and just

Mirissa: 28:44

just want, because my thing is like, that has, it, it's, it's a gray area. You don't really know why you're attracted to the person and you know, vice versa. They don't know why they're attracted to you, but you know, there's a mesh. It's a mesh. It's a mesh. We love a mesh.

Nailah: 29:01

And I hope to be a mesh

Mirissa: 29:02

people. I hope to bless so many people's lives as their mesh. Because I feel like I'm a pretty solid mesh. I feel Right! You're welcome. I mean, like, I'm not the most drop dead gorgeous mesh. However, I will probably make you laugh.

Nailah: 29:16

I'm just here. I'm just here

Mirissa: 29:18

I Right? And my thing is if

Nailah: 29:20

I, I'm not a mesh

Mirissa: 29:23

You're not a mesh that I can offer much. I feel like I can offer some. I probably can't offer as much as like other meshes out there, but I feel like I'm a, I'm a solid, a solid mesh. If you have a mesh on me, Listen, I feel like this could be a very beneficial relationship and it doesn't even have to be a relationship because it's just a mesh.

Nailah: 29:43

It

Mirissa: 29:43

just a mesh, but like, I definitely, I definitely think a mesh is like cool because it's like a weird gray area and it's just like, you know. You have a mesh on complete strangers or complete strangers have a mesh on you and they might just pay for your food Just because they just like you or they might just buy you a drink at a bar Just like, you know, or they might just I don't know just tell you you're like, you're beautiful and it's like mmm. Thank And I am. And my thing is they might think you're the ugliest person ever, but there's something about you that they just find beautiful. And so they have a mesh on you and they tell you that they can't figure it out. They can't put their finger

Nailah: 30:19

figure it out.

Mirissa: 30:20

like some of my, some of my friendships have started out as meshes because I couldn't figure out why I liked that person and they couldn't figure out probably why they liked me. But next thing you know, friends.

Nailah: 30:32

I think that's actually like a really good point that like Friendships and probably relationships to also start

Mirissa: 30:40

It's just something about them. You don't know what it is, but it's something. There's something there. It's a mesh. It's a mesh.

Nailah: 30:45

No, that's I agree with that that's cool

Mirissa: 30:47

But, um, the tidbit that I wanted to go back to with the whole, uh, swish, lush, not wanting to be touched situation with myself, I I think it's because, like, you have to kind of suspend your You have to kind of, so, you have to kind of suspend your belief a little bit when it comes to crushes. Because they, they, crushes operate in the realm of, I don't really like, know this person or know everything about them. You have to idolize a crush to a certain extent. Like you, like you know, especially when it's a romantic crush. You like idolize them a little bit because you don't, you probably don't like know them super well. Um, or if you do know them super well, there's something, there's things about them that you probably don't like that could ruin the crush. And so you have to kind of suspend your belief a little bit and kind of idolize any type of, you know, crush, swish, plush, whatever that you have in order to have it because you know that They're, you know, it could, it could go away if you really think about it, that attraction could waver. And so I feel like when it comes to me personally with the swish and the lush situation, I feel like the reason why I have such a strong, aesthetic and physical attraction to bigger people is because I idealize them as smelling amazing. and not ever coughing or sneezing on me, or not ever sweating, or not having any germs. And that's humanly impossible. Because every human sweats and has germs and coughs and sneezes and probably doesn't always smell that great. But my thing is when I see a, when I see a plus size model and I'm just like, hmm, I would love to have a hug from her. I imagine that she smells like. I don't know, like a donut,

Nailah: 32:43

that's how I feel about black people. I feel like beautiful black people they just have to smell good.

Mirissa: 32:49

smell good.

Nailah: 32:51

like, like beautiful black people.

Mirissa: 32:53

I think I idealize beautiful black people as well. Don't let them be a beautiful plus size black person. Cause Oh, does something to me, but my things, if they don't smell like a donut, my swish, my lush is gone. Cause you stink. It's gone. Why do you smell? Why do you smell like?

Nailah: 33:12

And that's the worst thing you could do.

Mirissa: 33:15

Why do you not smell like a donut? Why do you smell like sweat?

Nailah: 33:19

Why do you not

Mirissa: 33:20

Why did you? Yeah, exactly. Like you should

Nailah: 33:22

better.

Mirissa: 33:24

Exactly. It's like you should have known that I have this lush slash swish on you and that I want you to smell like a donut so therefore you should smell like a donut

Nailah: 33:33

Exactly. the DeLulu is coming out and you should be disappointed

Mirissa: 33:37

Exactly. See you get me not like you get me and so that's the thing about crushes all of them They are all rooted low key in Delulu because,

Nailah: 33:47

They are. They 100%. That's why I'm still hurt about old dude from the cafeteria. Like, it's DeLulu. Because he doesn't know me.

Mirissa: 33:56

right. That's why I'm Delulu about the Weeknd as my, what was he? As my smush, because the Weeknd is not even a real person. He's an idea, a persona. Not even like even like Abel has come out and said that the Weeknd is not even him he doesn't even identify with him that much like he obviously and

Nailah: 34:16

He doesn't

Mirissa: 34:16

like he embodies the songs when he's Performing and when he's singing when he's creating art, but outside of that in his real life he's not Weeknd and it's just like What do you mean? Do I have a crush on? Like, who do I have a smush on? Okay.

Nailah: 34:33

Who is going to have sex with me then? Because it needs to be one of

Mirissa: 34:37

I hope it's the weekend. Right. And it's just like, I feel like Abel's a great guy. He probably, he probably smells great. I would assume he smells fantastic. But yeah, so I feel like the crush that's most rooted in Delulu is the crush classic crush romantic crush because my thing is you don't even know this person and you say that you're in love with them. It's like, how do you know?

Nailah: 35:03

They don't.

Mirissa: 35:04

This is how I know I've been aromantic my entire life because when I was in middle school you talk about how you had Crushes, I thought I had crushes but come to find out they were actually like squishes or Swishes like I just thought someone was nice to look at and I just wanted them to be my

Nailah: 35:19

Mhm.

Mirissa: 35:20

they were my

Nailah: 35:21

No, I think I think it's totally fair for kids to like associate

Mirissa: 35:29

Mm hmm.

Nailah: 35:29

especially With like having a crush on somebody or like even a even like a squish or a swish like either of those the aesthetic or the platonic like I think it's really easy Because sexual we're not necessarily at like the sexual level always so like that might not even be a factor even if you're not like Arobic or asexual like even if you're not that even if you do have sexual attraction to people it might not just be awoken yet But it's easy to be like, oh my god. I really like that person I think I probably have a crush on them because I don't

Mirissa: 36:03

Yeah, no, I think that crushes develop so quickly and organically because you're idealizing someone. And so that's a very pure thought process to have, however, obviously human beings are pretty much not ideal. There's something wrong with all of us. And it is what it is. That's not a bad thing it's just the truth. And so therefore, it's just kind of like you have to kind of be a little de lulu in order to have any of these types of crushes. And then if you're not ever de lulu and you never have a crush, I'm so sorry because having A squish is so much fun and having a swish or a lush is just so great. I just love that. I just feel like you're a robot if you don't have any of these attractions. And my thing is there's nothing wrong with being a robot too. Your life is probably very simple. You probably have it. It's

Nailah: 36:52

very at ease.

Mirissa: 36:54

you're, you will never get stressed out by a squish ever.

Nailah: 36:58

Girl,

Mirissa: 36:59

a, like my thing is, I just, whenever I get stressed out from a squish, this is how I know it's because I'm starting to feel like they don't like me and they don't want to be my friend and that's how I know I have a squish on them because it gives me anxiety. Why do you not like me? Why do you not want to be my friend? And it's just like, oh my gosh, you like me? It's like, no, I don't. I, I'm not in love with you. I don't want to have sex with you. I just want to know why you don't want to be my friend. Rude.

Nailah: 37:26

Rude. Very.

Mirissa: 37:27

dare you?

Nailah: 37:28

you? the audacity.

Mirissa: 37:31

I really want to know if anyone has ever thought they've had a crush on me because, hate to break it to them, um, no one has ever told me that they've had a crush on me or a swish or a smush or anything. I've had my suspicions. I'm glad I never said anything because that would have been, yikes, it would have been hilarious because I literally, the confrontation would have been like, do you like have a crush on me? And they would have probably, if they told the truth and they were like, yeah, I'd be like, interesting. Can you explain why?

Nailah: 38:05

That would stress me out, like imagine I'm the one that has a crush on you and you come up to me and you're like, Nala, do you have a crush on me? And I say, yes. And you say, interesting girl, I'm, I'm,

Mirissa: 38:19

boggled,

Nailah: 38:20

got to go. I'm running out of the door. I'm running out of the door. I can't be here any longer. I don't care where we are. We can be on a boat.

Mirissa: 38:28

and someone's

Nailah: 38:29

Yeah, cause now I'm stressed, somebody else around us probably heard, rumors are gonna

Mirissa: 38:34

did you hear what Marissa said to Nala? She like asked Nala if she had a crush on her and Nala was like, yeah, like I have a crush on you. And then Marissa was just like, interesting. Like, oh my God.

Nailah: 38:44

oh my god, I can't imagine, I would die if that happened to

Mirissa: 38:46

If I told someone that I've never had a crush, but if I were to ever have one and I told the person and they told me interesting, why do you have a crush on me? I will literally have a PowerPoint presentation ready.

Nailah: 39:00

no

Mirissa: 39:00

This, these, these are the reasons why I think I actually like you. Um, and these are the reasons why I definitely don't.

Nailah: 39:10

Oh, pros and

Mirissa: 39:11

the cons man, because listen, I, I know myself and I know I'm not that de lulu to think that this person doesn't have anything wrong with them. So I, I know I, I will be well, well aware of what it is and I will point it out to them. And if they choose to change, okay. And if they

Nailah: 39:27

oh my gosh.

Mirissa: 39:28

ship has sailed. No more crush.

Nailah: 39:31

Imagine, like, I'm just imagining if somebody has a crush on me, and I actually might even like them back, but they hit me with a PowerPoint that has my cons, oh no, forget it. Any chance we had is

Mirissa: 39:44

Now you don't even, yeah, you don't want even, mm mm. What's crazy is if someone were to like hit me with that, they said they have a crush on me, list all my pros and my cons, I would probably just hit them with those were the only pros and cons that you were able to come up with. And then I'd probably also hit them with those cons aren't even the good ones.

Nailah: 40:05

Oh. Oh.

Mirissa: 40:07

Because my thing is, if they ever tell me your con is that you like talk too much, or that your voice is annoying, or that you're a big person, or that you have a big head. It's like, that's, that's so original. I've never heard that a single day in my entire life. It's like, do better. If you're gonna, if you're gonna have reasons why you don't like me, have reasons why you don't like me. Don't give me this

Nailah: 40:31

Do your research. It

Mirissa: 40:32

out, like,

Nailah: 40:33

too. You better have references and

Mirissa: 40:35

my thing is if someone pulled, pulled one out of thin air, like if they said, Oh yeah, Marissa, I don't like you because I don't know you, I don't know. I don't, they would have to give me like a, like one that's just like, not you. I don't like you Marissa because you don't like dogs. If someone said that to me, I'd be like, who told you that?

Nailah: 40:54

I'm like, now your sources are wrong. Like,

Mirissa: 40:57

I'd

Nailah: 40:57

cite your sources. Cause we need to have a

Mirissa: 41:00

be like, one, how did you get to that conclusion that I don't like dogs? I would want to know where they, where that information came from, how they were able to get to that conclusion, why they have the audacity to say that to me. And then I would quickly explain to them, I actually do like dogs. So jokes on you.

Nailah: 41:20

Fool. Okay? Cause what's your problem? See?

Mirissa: 41:24

things about me that you don't even like? Because if they're all lies, you actually do like me. You just. You just think you don't with these lies

Nailah: 41:31

It sounds like you're in. denial. And I think you need to work on that. Have some

Mirissa: 41:36

But yeah, if my thing is, if anybody ever has anyone has ever had or has or will have people in the future, a crush on me, please have your PowerPoints ready because I

Nailah: 41:48

First off, PowerPoint is crazy to me. That is

Mirissa: 41:51

have it ready because I would love to see what you come up with. Please make sure it's original. If you say that you don't like me because my voice is annoying. I don't even like me because my voice is annoying. So do better.

Nailah: 42:08

See, the thing is, if somebody was making a PowerPoint about me, like, like, like I said, they better have their sources cited, but also, like, the PowerPoint better be, like, visually pleasing.

Mirissa: 42:20

aesthetically attracted

Nailah: 42:21

me on a journey

Mirissa: 42:23

If I don't

Nailah: 42:23

to the PowerPoint,

Mirissa: 42:24

what are we even doing?

Nailah: 42:27

if you're on the basic word, babes, it's getting, it's giving a no already.

Mirissa: 42:31

You did not make the cut. That's embarrassing. I will quickly tell them, you know what? That's, that's great. And all that you made this cute little PowerPoint about your crush on me and stuff and told me all the things that you like and don't like, but. It was, I didn't even, I, I lost interest like two slides in because it looked terrible like it's,

Nailah: 42:50

It's boring. You don't

Mirissa: 42:51

where are the graphics? Where, you're right, where is

Nailah: 42:54

like, no, you did it wrong.

Mirissa: 42:57

don't like this. My thing is your bullet points and fonts didn't even match like ew, ew, ew.

Nailah: 43:03

Oh,

Mirissa: 43:04

my thing is you used sans, you used sans serif font to do a PowerPoint about moi. Oh no. do

Nailah: 43:13

do better.

Mirissa: 43:15

That's disgusting. That's disgusting.

Nailah: 43:18

Like, I feel like a PowerPoint, there's just So many

Mirissa: 43:20

So many things. My PowerPoint to my crush would probably make them have a crush on me because my PowerPoint would be so nice. And then the PowerPoint to me from the person that has a crush on me, I feel like they would think that they made the right decision or they would think I'm a psychopath. Which neither are wrong, probably both.

Nailah: 43:40

maybe. Like, it doesn't have

Mirissa: 43:43

right, exactly. Okay, so from all of these things that, we just talked about and from the research that you did and from some of the stuff that I said, what were some things I know you say you had never heard of these crush types before, so, like, what were heard of or that you thought, found very crush,

Nailah: 43:58

genuinely, every single one of them I had never heard before other than a crush. Genuinely. Genuinely. But also Yes, the crushes, but also the types of attraction. Like I had just never considered like alterouss, which was like the, the gray area one. I never considered sensual, aesthetic, aesthetic actually made a lot of sense to me because I definitely have these for a lot of like, and I know I keep associating my crushes with celebrities, but it's because I have crushes on celebrities more than I have crushes on regular people.

Mirissa: 44:33

Yeah.

Nailah: 44:34

And they're usually like either an aesthetic crush or like a platonic one. Like most of the time, I actually don't want to have sex with them. It's not usually like a smush. I don't probably want to be in a real relationship with them. So it's not even a crush for real. Like it's a

Mirissa: 44:51

Gotcha.

Nailah: 44:53

or maybe it might be, it might be a mesh to

Mirissa: 44:55

I mean, aren't we all meshes at the end of the day? Cause come on now. It's not, it's not specific enough to be anything but that. So it's just like, I feel like everybody's a mesh. We're all a mesh. Um, everyone is

Nailah: 45:10

are, but also when I was doing my research, I hope so. That would be nice to

Mirissa: 45:15

I would.

Nailah: 45:16

mesh.

Mirissa: 45:17

Please. Share with the class. Please share with the class. Take the time to share with the class.

Nailah: 45:23

just say it.

Mirissa: 45:24

with the class that you have a mesh, then why do you even have a mesh? You know?

Nailah: 45:29

Yeah, what's the point?

Mirissa: 45:30

Like, don't have a mesh in silence. You, you come to the front of the class, you say it with your chest, say it loud enough for the people in the back, and you declare it your mesh, and then you quickly explain that you don't even know why you have it. Like, you have to, you literally have to follow it up with that, because then it's not a mesh if you know why you're crushing on somebody, because then it's like, It's either a lush or a squish or a smush, because my thing is if you wanna have sex with them, it's a smush If you wanna be their friend, it's a squish. If you think they're nice to look at, it's a s swish. But if you have no idea why you like that person. It's a mesh. It's a mesh.

Nailah: 46:06

You're just drawn to me, babes. It's

Mirissa: 46:08

know. I just have that effect on people. I don't know what it is. I see. My thing is I feel like all black girls are like the meshes of someone because we have black girl magic. And it's just like, you can't tap into that unless you're one of us. And people half the time don't

Nailah: 46:21

And even

Mirissa: 46:22

I'm pretty sure it's the magic period.

Nailah: 46:26

it is even like, um, I feel like, oh, let me not out. Let me not out these people. But like, I feel like growing up, I've definitely seen a lot of non black men and women have meshes on black women, for sure. For sure. And even at the time, like, even I

Mirissa: 46:46

I don't know. It's the match.

Nailah: 46:48

to you, baby. It's the, mesh!

Mirissa: 46:51

it's the, it's the mesh. It's the mesh. It's the black girl magic. It's the sprinkle, sprinkle. Like it's the razzle dazzle. It's all of the above because we as black girls, like we, we know that we have black girl magic, but some of us like don't even know how powerful it is. Some of us have not fully tapped into it. And the fact that people like us because of something that we haven't even fully tapped into wild, crazy, insane, iconic,

Nailah: 47:17

Iconic. Who

Mirissa: 47:18

Like, out of this world, okay? That is amazing. So shout out to all the black girls out there. If you're a listener and you're a black girl and you have black girl magic, listen, you already know I got a mesh on you, girl.

Nailah: 47:31

Sprinkle, sprinkle.

Mirissa: 47:32

Okay.

Nailah: 47:34

No, but one of the news to share. And it was about, it's about my sexuality.

Mirissa: 47:46

Ooh. Ah,

Nailah: 47:49

this research, I realized that I am bisexual, but I already knew that I am bisexual. But what I, the part that I was struggling with is that I'm het, hetero romantic. Heteroromantic? Like, I pretty much only have a romantic attraction towards men. But I have sexual attraction, well, kind of towards whoever, really. Mainly men and women, but I

Mirissa: 48:15

you know.

Nailah: 48:16

you know. they

Mirissa: 48:17

Right. Okay.

Nailah: 48:18

if they talking good.

Mirissa: 48:19

No. Well, okay. Congratulations, Nala, for being able to, you know, figure out that about yourself. Um, welcome to the club because I'm in the same boat with you. Um, besides the romantic part, you know, but the bisexual part. And or the pan, you know, part, like, I don't, my thing is like, I, I, I feel like my sexual attraction is very gender binary. It's not gender fluid. But then again, I don't know, because I don't know.

Nailah: 48:49

Except, I'm open to exceptions, is what I'll say.

Mirissa: 48:52

I'm open to, I'm open to exceptions. So I feel like that does make me more

Nailah: 48:55

a hard stop.

Mirissa: 48:56

bi. But at the same time, I feel like, I feel like I'm, I'm 100 percent sure on the bi. I'm not 100 percent sure on the pan, if that makes sense.

Nailah: 49:05

I agree with you. I

Mirissa: 49:06

so yeah, and I feel like I haven't had enough life experience and specific experiences with people that are gender fluid or trans or whatever to be able to tap into my potential pansexuality. So we're going to stick with bisexuality for right now, because I know that for a fact it's there. Um, but yeah, welcome to the club, Nala. Um, that's so cute. And I'm so glad that you found that out about yourself. Um, that's what this podcast is for. Listen, listeners, please, please understand like, this is what this podcast is for is for people like Nala, like you to like, learn stuff and like, engage and then realize, oh my God. I'm learning, I'm learning stuff in general, but I'm learning things about myself and I just think that's chef's kiss beautiful. Um, but yeah, knowledge. So, okay. So how if you can like walk me and the listeners through how you were able to figure this out about yourself, if you want, if you want to, you don't have to.

Nailah: 50:00

Which part?

Mirissa: 50:02

So, okay. How are you able to realize that your romantic attraction and your sexual attraction were definitely not on the exact same page. Like they might be in the same chapter, but not on the same page.

Nailah: 50:12

Okay. Right, right. So basically I was struggling with the idea like, am I straight or am I bisexual for like a very long time? Cause I'm like, I don't know. But it was because I truly. Like, to me, bisexual is also wanting to date women and maybe even having a long term partnership with women. And so I'm like, maybe I'm not bisexual then because I don't really feel that way towards women. But, then literally in doing this research and learning about the attractions, I was like, shut the freak up. I actually. not romantically attracted to them, but that doesn't mean I'm

Mirissa: 50:57

and that's on period because you are, and that's on period, okay.

Nailah: 51:03

exactly.

Mirissa: 51:04

okay. So, so just like you Nala, I also, you know, bisexual, I have sexual attraction to both men and women. And me personally, I feel like my sexual attraction is way stronger with men versus women. That's just me. That's how I personally feel about it, but I still definitely think that both of the both attractions are there I've never done anything with a woman. So it's also like, you know, but it is what it is But my thing is for the listeners out there that might be a little confused by that. Okay, you can be sexually attracted to anybody And never have sex. Ooh. Like, I hope people, I hope people know that because if you are desiring sexual intimacy, like you, you have the knowledge of what sex is. You have the knowledge of what intimacy is. You have the knowledge of how that can go down and you want that to happen to you. That is. That is you having like, you know, sexual attraction, but you never even have to engage. It is what it is. Um, and so therefore it's just kind of like, I feel like a lot of people think that in order for you to know what your sexuality is, you have to like partake and no, not necessarily.

Nailah: 52:14

I felt similarly to, but I like figuring out that I don't have to have that is what allowed me. The freedom of potentially exploring my identity like my identity.

Mirissa: 52:25

so glad you've been liberated.

Nailah: 52:26

is

Mirissa: 52:28

Welcome. Welcome.

Nailah: 52:29

too. This is very exciting for

Mirissa: 52:31

and so, yeah, and so for, and then for me, you said you're heteroromantic, you are romantically attracted to the opposite sex. I'm not romantically attracted to anyone ever forever and ever. Amen. Okay, because I just don't have, I don't have that in me. I was, I was, I'm built different. And so, but that does not negate my sexual attraction to anyone. Um, because I think again, with the split attraction model, that sums it up very easily. Romantic and sexual attraction are not one and the same thing. They are two separate things. Therefore, just because you are romantically inclined towards certain individuals doesn't mean that you might be sexually inclined towards them and vice versa. And that's where aromantic and asexual people come in because we are, you know, aromantic people, we are not romantically inclined towards anyone. Asexual people, they are not sexually inclined towards anyone. However, asexual people can have, you know, romantic attraction and aromantic people can have sexual attraction. They are not one in the same thing. Um, and then also I, I, you know, another reason why I started this podcast is because I didn't feel like a lot of representation was out there for people like me that identify as aromantic but don't also identify as asexual. Um, a lot of people that are on the, that are in the aspec world identify as both aromantic and asexual. They have neither the romantic or the sexual attraction. For me, I feel like I'm, I'm, I'm queer in that regard, but I'm even more queer than them because I actually do have

Nailah: 53:59

Oh

Mirissa: 54:00

but I have no romantic attraction. And, um, I think that there's some stigma there because it's just like, you know, how, how are you built like that? And it's just like, one, I don't even know. And two, I don't have a problem. Like, you know what, it shouldn't be a problem. It's actually kind

Nailah: 54:21

Yeah. And I think, I think the distinction is more important than people realize. I think a lot of straight men could benefit from learning about split attraction.

Mirissa: 54:37

very much could.

Nailah: 54:38

Um, cause I, I truly feel like a lot of quote unquote straight men are sexually attracted to women, But

Mirissa: 54:49

But You know, they might feel a little bit different when it comes to romantic parts. No, I, I 100 percent or right. That's what I'm saying. I'm just like, I think bros out here really have like whole romantic crushes on other bros. However, they would never admit that because they're like, I'm a bro.

Nailah: 55:12

girl,

Mirissa: 55:12

be in love with another bro cause that's gay. And it's like, first of all, it is a little gay, but not that gay.

Nailah: 55:20

you are

Mirissa: 55:21

It's a little gay. Like you, like,

Nailah: 55:24

Maybe that's,

Mirissa: 55:25

like that, that's fine.

Nailah: 55:26

Like,

Mirissa: 55:27

gay. But my thing is like, you don't have, nobody said you had to have sex with your crush. Okay. nobody said you

Nailah: 55:34

said that. I never said that.

Mirissa: 55:37

Okay.

Nailah: 55:38

Yeah, like this discourse, like men hate women, men hate

Mirissa: 55:42

Yeah.

Nailah: 55:43

it's

Mirissa: 55:44

The split attraction is tapping into that. It's getting okay. And my thing is, I feel like once like, you know, more people start to open their eyes and broaden their horizons to what, like what this model is, what this model is implying, what this model could mean for them, how liberating it could be to separate your romantic and sexual attractions and all the other ones as well. That can be a beautiful thing because I feel like Relationships will be so much more authentic. Once people realize that you can be attracted to people in different ways attracting to whole groups of people in different ways And that's not a problem and it doesn't have to it doesn't have to have a huge impact on how you live your life Because my thing is at the day Do I want to fall in love and have a husband and have a whole bunch of kids and all that other kind of stuff? No, do I want to have sex? Yeah,

Nailah: 56:37

right,

Mirissa: 56:39

it's that simple and it's just like, you know, I, you know, I feel like a lot of this is also rooted in like religion as well, um, which, okay, disclaimer listeners, you know, if you're religious, um, you know, spiritual, religious, whatever, and your sexuality or romantic. Orientations are wrapped up in your religion. That's not a problem. It's, it's, you know, I'm not gonna, you know, no one is judging you or saying that that is wrong. However, if you feel or if you have realized that there are, that can be a restricting belief for you. It's, it's restricting on your, on how you want to live your life because you're religious and your sexual or attraction, your religion and your sexual attraction and romantic attract, Attraction are all kind of wrapped up in one construct. One, I'm so very sorry that you feel that way. And two, you might want to do some research. Just tap into religion, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction. Just because, um, you know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of nuance there, but I feel like doing research can provide a lot of clarity as well. So, um, Because, because I, I struggled with that at one point too. I, you know, I fully thought that there, you know, I'm doing something wrong or I'm a bad person because Of my beliefs and my attractions and no, I'm just Marissa. That's it.

Nailah: 58:05

that's it, that's it. But yeah, I think a lot of the, there's a lot of uh, no nuance Nellies out there. So like, I just feel like some people just never get it. Like, they just

Mirissa: 58:16

they refuse and that's so sad. I just I feel really bad for them I hope I hope one day they get they when they grow up one day when they grow up I really hope that they when they they realize like, you know what life could be so much simpler and more free if I just You know, flip the script on how I think about some of these things. so, okay. So now when you were doing this research, was, were you confused at all? Like was, was, were you, were you over here thinking that you were taking a test trying to like figure all this stuff out?

Nailah: 58:48

Um, I wasn't confused because I wasn't, I don't know, I guess like I didn't go into it with the idea that I could even

Mirissa: 58:57

Okay. Gotcha.

Nailah: 58:59

it was almost like, well everything will be explained to me by the end of this video. So like, I don't have, like I never gave myself the chance to feel confusion. I was just listening. Yeah, I was just listening and learning and absorbing. The only thing that I would say just off the chart alone, like the first time I read the chart, I was kind of confused about like a mesh or like the

Mirissa: 59:22

Mm

Nailah: 59:22

alterous

Mirissa: 59:22

hmm.

Nailah: 59:24

but it kind of does make sense if you think about it as a sort of like an in between area, like the gray area.

Mirissa: 59:29

that's how I view it. It's just so it's, you just, you can't put your finger on it. You just don't know what it is.

Nailah: 59:36

yeah. But also the queer platonic was a little bit confusing to me just because it's so far out of the realm of how I would view a relationship that it kind of took me, like I had to step back for a second to understand it? better. You know, do I have any questions? Um, I don't have questions per se. I just don't. quite understand how it will work.

Mirissa: 1:00:05

the beauty of it.

Nailah: 1:00:06

Like, I don't understand how it. it works.

Mirissa: 1:00:08

Cause my thing is that's, that's the beauty of it because it does it, it only matters to the people that are in it, how it works. Like it's really, it's, you have to, you have to have a very, very strong sense of self and a strong. You know, sense of like self respect, self love, and all of that, strong, communication. You have to be a very good communicator, and have to be able to set really good boundaries in order to be in a queer platonic relationship. because it's not for, it's not for the faint of heart. Like people, people out here getting married all day long, and thinking that like, you know, marriage, Is not going to, like, make them question their sanity. And it most definitely is. Think of that, like, a queer platonic relationship is kind of, like, also in the same kind of category as that. Because these are, you know, all of these things are, are social constructs. So you're, it is what you make it. And so I think that, you know, people People have this false narrative of their life is going to be better and or easier if they're married to someone or in a romantic relationship with someone, not the case. Um, and I think no one has really tapped into what queer platonic relationships could be because a queer platonic relationship, like I was saying before, could be people that are Married that never have sex with each other and voluntarily, consensually don't have sex with each other. Um, a lot of people ascribe romantic relationships and marriages to that is your sexual partner. No, and let's say, let's, let's double down on that. People that are in a queer platonic relationship, they don't have sex with each other. They have sex with other people, but they're in a relationship. Many people could not do that, but there are a lot of people that could.

Nailah: 1:01:47

I imagine, I imagine that's what Will Smith and Jada have.

Mirissa: 1:01:51

don't think they have a queer platonic relationship. I think they just have toxic

Nailah: 1:01:57

I think that it started off a typical relationship, but has

Mirissa: 1:02:03

Yeah, they, yeah, their boundaries got Yeah, I think their boundaries got messed up. They didn't respect each other's boundaries. I don't think they communicated very well. I think they have some, they're still on their journeys of self love and self respect and therefore it didn't work out for them. Um, but I feel like if you're solid with all of those things and you like in tune with your partner, I feel like queer platonic relationships could be for everybody. But again, like, you know, we're not, we're not there yet.

Nailah: 1:02:30

Okay, so my question for a queer platonic relationship, like, does that mean that it has to be, like, how, how much emphasis on queer are we putting on this relationship? Like how queer does it

Mirissa: 1:02:42

as you want it to be.

Nailah: 1:02:44

So could it, could it be very hetero as far

Mirissa: 1:02:48

It could be very hetero.

Nailah: 1:02:49

Or would that not

Mirissa: 1:02:50

It can be very hetero, it can be very homo, it can be very, it can be a lot of different things. It can be very trans, pan, all of the things. It can be whatever you want it to be. It can be very sexual, it can be very asexual, it can be very romantic, it can be very like aromantic. Cause my thing is like, romance again, it, it is what you make it, you know, I personally don't, you know, see, my thing is, I'm going to, I'm going to keep this short just because I will, I'm going to eventually do a whole episode on QPRs. But, um, but basically the way I see romance. It's very different the way other people see romance because it's just like I feel like anything you can do with a romantic partner you can do with someone that you're just friends with, that you have a platonic relationship with. Going on dates, you can do that with your friends. Having sex, you can do that with your friends. Getting married, you can do that with your friends. Going on trips, you can do that with your friends. Um, what else? Having kids, you can do that with your friends. Everything that you can do with a romantic partner, you can do that with your friends. People have chosen to only do that with one person. But, you can do that with anybody at the end of the day.

Nailah: 1:03:55

I This is one of those things where like we're just not on the same page at all because I completely disagree I strongly disagree and not necessarily like the friend dates. The friend dates are cool. That's fine. But it's more when we um, like increase that sexual the sexual aspect i'm like you cannot have sex with your

Mirissa: 1:04:18

But, but, but, Lala,

Nailah: 1:04:20

but i'm also

Mirissa: 1:04:21

didn't we talk about how sexual and romantic attraction, they're not, cause my thing is, if they're not the same thing, then why can't you have sex with your friends? I'm not saying that you're wrong or anything, I'm just asking.

Nailah: 1:04:34

Because, I know I'm not wrong, because, because that is like, like, it's just, you say this because you are aromantic, but that doesn't mean the people that you're having sex with are aromantic.

Mirissa: 1:04:53

good point.

Nailah: 1:04:53

just feel like that's one of those things that where it's like, no, no, no, no.

Mirissa: 1:05:00

looking out for the other person, always, always looking out for the other person.

Nailah: 1:05:05

No, I, you know what I'm, I'm imagining that like every time in these situations, I'm imagining that I'm the current partner of the friend that you're having sex with. Like for some reason that's, That's always where my head goes and

Mirissa: 1:05:17

go that way too,

Nailah: 1:05:19

yeah, yeah, they do. But that would just piss me off like,

Mirissa: 1:05:24

would be well aware that I'm aromantic. So you would already know, like,

Nailah: 1:05:29

but like I'm, like I said, if it's you, Marissa. Like, we've talked about this before, but if it's you, I would have less of a reaction to but it would still make me uncomfortable.

Mirissa: 1:05:39

I understand.

Nailah: 1:05:40

make me uncomfortable. I just probably wouldn't be like as angry and insecure about it.

Mirissa: 1:05:44

I respect it so much. Thank you for being honest. but yeah, so Nala, thank you so much for coming to my TED talk about these crushes and types of attraction because this is so fun.

Nailah: 1:05:57

fun. I'm enjoying

Mirissa: 1:06:00

I love it when we can, when we, when people have crushes and people have some self discoveries and when people have their, like, beliefs questioned. But still stand firm to their beliefs because it's their beliefs. I love that so much because it just shows it's it's the it's the Humanity and all of us. It's the x factor. Like we're just we're all built different. I just love it so much But

Nailah: 1:06:23

we are. I love a crush though. But my crushes, they don't last long. They're very short fleeting.

Mirissa: 1:06:34

I've never had a crush. So I don't think I would love it

Nailah: 1:06:37

Yeah. You might love it. You probably won't.

Mirissa: 1:06:40

but I love me, love me a good squish. I don't know. I feel like I'd be way too Delulu and it would stress me out. And because I get Delulu about squishes.

Nailah: 1:06:50

Yeah. But I think, I think, I think crushes are inherently

Mirissa: 1:06:54

really are

Nailah: 1:06:55

don't think I've ever had a crush where an aspect of delusion

Mirissa: 1:06:59

because I feel like you have to be Delulu to have a crush. Listeners, if you argue with me on social media. I personally believe that you have to be rooted in Dululu to have a crush because crushes are Dululu. If you want to battle me about it, if you want to come for me, I really don't care. I know I'm right. But if you want to try to change my mind, you won't. But if you want to try. Comment me on social media because listen, or become one of my patrons. I'm patron. I will love to battle someone in the email, email chain. That'd be beautiful. so

Nailah: 1:07:34

emailing back and forth, that is silly.

Mirissa: 1:07:37

cite your sources.

Nailah: 1:07:40

Per, you better get it right and it better be

Mirissa: 1:07:44

but yeah, so, oh, I forgot to ask you, I forgot to ask you, so what is your favorite attraction slash crush type? What's your favorite?

Nailah: 1:07:52

favorite

Mirissa: 1:07:54

quip platonic all day long. Quip platonic. I love it.

Nailah: 1:07:58

favorite? Oh my gosh, whoa, why is this question hard for me? I know what my least favorite? is. My least favorite is probably sensual.

Mirissa: 1:08:11

is your least favorite.

Nailah: 1:08:12

Just because that's the one that I probably have never had. Like, I just can't relate. And sexual is probably one of my least favorites as well because that just gets me into

Mirissa: 1:08:21

weak

Nailah: 1:08:22

times that's centered around a lulu for me as well.

Mirissa: 1:08:24

definitely

Nailah: 1:08:27

Sexual will get

Mirissa: 1:08:28

Trouble Trouble

Nailah: 1:08:33

A good trouble? Maybe a bad trouble? I don't know, but trouble nonetheless. But my favorite is probably alterous.

Mirissa: 1:08:41

You love a mesh? You love a good mesh? Oh meshes, that's the coolest one. I feel like meshes are cooler than, um, QPRs and like zucchinis and stuff. Even though, you know, GoProtonic is my favorite, Mesh is the coolest to me. And I feel like aesthetic is like, it's not my favorite, but it's just like, I like it a lot. Cause I just, it's a fun

Nailah: 1:09:06

fun one.

Mirissa: 1:09:07

Yeah. Um, okay. So, And then I feel like my most, um, pervasive type of crush, the one that keeps coming up all the time, is a squish, is platonic, because, again, my romantic attraction is not even there. Um, but anyway, so, the next, the next little segment of our show, we're gonna play a little game. Um, and so this, this little game is the one that I made up, I, I'm probably going to be making up all of my games, listeners, just to let you know, I'm probably never going to play like an actual game. Um, so I just made this little game up, and this game is, if the different types of attractions were ice cream flavors, what would they be? And, I'm going to go first so I can give you a minute to kind of like get your thoughts together so you can tell me what you think they are. And I'm just going to go down the list of the chart that we used.

Nailah: 1:09:54

Okay.

Mirissa: 1:09:55

up is sexual. So sexual attraction to me, if it were ice cream, it would be cookie dough I could fuck some cookie dough ice cream. I could fuck some cookie dough ice cream up. I could. I, I love cookie dough ice cream, like,

Nailah: 1:10:11

And you said that one

Mirissa: 1:10:12

sexual, sexual, so my, my ice cream flavor that I have a smush on is cookie dough ice cream, because, listen. As you said, the sexual attraction gets you in trouble. Cookie dough ice cream can get me into trouble. Trouble. Okay?

Nailah: 1:10:30

You're funny. Okay.

Mirissa: 1:10:33

ice cream. Um, romantic attraction. Peanut butter. Peanut butter. Nala, can you tell the listeners why my romantic crush is peanut butter ice cream?

Nailah: 1:10:48

Because you have a serious peanut allergy. And I should know because I try to give you receipts on multiple occasions on purpose. yeah.

Mirissa: 1:11:01

y'all heard it here first, Nala has admitted to, for attempted first degree murder, um, on this public platform podcast. This bitch done tried to kill me quite a few, many a times, many

Nailah: 1:11:17

bad as you think. It's not as, I always, I didn't throw it at her. I just asked her if she wants some of my Reese's.

Mirissa: 1:11:24

wanted to. She was.

Nailah: 1:11:28

But I, but Marissa, I always asked if you had your EpiPen just in case there, uh, accident happened.

Mirissa: 1:11:33

so much evidence to

Nailah: 1:11:36

I always asked if you

Mirissa: 1:11:37

prosecute you

Nailah: 1:11:38

if you. didn't have it, if you didn't have it, I didn't even play around like that.

Mirissa: 1:11:42

This up.

Nailah: 1:11:44

If You

Mirissa: 1:11:44

You are going to prison.

Nailah: 1:11:50

I'm about to be locked up. They won't let me out.

Mirissa: 1:11:53

Over some peanut butter and all that, that's sad. But yeah, listeners, I, uh, I'm very much allergic to, uh, The legume of peanuts, the peanuts legume. Um,'cause peanut, because peanuts are actually not even nuts. You guys, they're legumes. Um, but yeah, I'm actually allergic to peanuts as well as all tree nuts. So peanut butter, ice cream, butter, pecan, pistachio, all of the flavors of ice cream that have nuts are my classic crushes. And I don't fucks with them, period. Um, and so next up is platonic. So I have a huge squish on mocha coffee, ice cream, like. If it's like coffee ice cream with like a little, little bit of chocolate in there to make it a little mocha. That is, that, that is my best friend because let's be real. That stuff is good. And I love coffee in general. I've been drinking coffee ever since I was a little kid. Caffeine has like no effect on me. I think I built up a huge tolerance for it. So therefore caffeine and I, best friends. And therefore I have a huge squish on some coffee ice cream. Next is aesthetic attraction, or um, my swish. Swish is French Vanilla, cause French Vanilla is cute. But it's not just any French Vanilla, it's that soft serve swirl with the little point at the top on top of the cone. That's my, that's my swish, because, oof, girl, you are just cute. Cause, not, not, you got the little swirl and the cone and the little point at the top. Love it, I love it. Um, that's my aesthetic crush or flavor is French vanilla. Um, and then my sensual slash physical crush. So my, um, my lush is cookies and cream because. I just, I love cookies and cream. I think that's such a classic combo. Um, and I feel like if I were to be cuddled by something, I would want it to have some, like some Oreos sprinkled in, you know, um, I want some cookies to be involved. Um, and my thing is if someone were to smell like cookies and cream and hug me and hold me, Oh my God, I don't want you to ever let me go. so yeah, that's my, that's my ice cream flavor for sensual and physical. platonic. Y'all. Red velvet ice cream. Hear me out. Hear me out. Hear me

Nailah: 1:14:23

No. Honestly, Marissa. Marissa. I agree with you. I actually, I've been, I've been questioning all the flavors that I've ever tasted in my entire life this entire time. And I truly think that Red Velvet matches a queer

Mirissa: 1:14:37

Because is it a cake? is it an ice cream? Is it a milkshake? Is it a cookie? Is it a cupcake? What is it? It's all of the above.

Nailah: 1:14:48

It's everything.

Mirissa: 1:14:49

It's it's whatever. And we love to see it. And my thing is that you, you said I could eat it as ice cream too. I can be in a relationship with some red velvet ice cream. Oh my God. Oh my God. So yeah. So clear platonic, that's my favorite. Red velvet is my favorite. I can eat it in any form. I love it so much. Obviously no nuts. If you, if you put nuts on red velvet, why would you do that? Why would you disrespect the red velvet like that by adding nuts? That's so rude. but yeah, so that's my, that's my queer platonic because it's all, it's all of the above. You can be all of the things in red velvet. Okay. Um, and then the alterous is vanilla bean because vanilla bean goes with anything. Vanilla bean can't mess up anything. It can't mess it up. It can go with chocolate. Like it can go and go with anything like chocolatey or, um, like. You know, rich, like, um, the coffee one or the peanut butter or the whatever, but it can also go with like fruity stuff. It can go with like strawberry or like cherry or, you know, all these different fruit ice creams. It can go with pie. It can go with cake. It can go, I mean, it can just go with anything because it's just, just pure vanilla bean and it's just wonderful and it's just, goes with anything and everything and therefore it's just such a mesh. It's a mesh. It's everyone's

Nailah: 1:16:11

Marissa, I think, I think your last two choices, I'm going to keep for my choices as well. Like I truly, I truly think they embody, I truly think that like you, you're really spot on with those

Mirissa: 1:16:23

Right. And that's the thing about the mesh and the, this is my last thing, the mesh and the, and the, um, swish, the vanilla bean and the French vanilla, not the same thing. If you think those are the same thing, stop listening to our podcast right now and just go away because they're not the same. And, um, and the thing about French vanilla is I don't, I personally don't want French vanilla ice cream. In like from a tub, like from a tub of ice cream. I can eat all the other ones from a tub, obviously not the peanut butter, but all the other ones from like a tub of ice cream or like, you know, in a milkshake or whatever. No, I want French vanilla in like a swirl, like a, like a soft serve swirl. And so, and I think it's also because with French Vanilla and Vanilla Bean, French Vanilla does not go with everything. Vanilla Bean does. French Vanilla does not. And that's why there's a clear distinction, even though both of these have vanilla flavoring. That's the tea. If you want to play these little games and think that you can just switch it up with Vanilla Bean and French Vanilla, again, this podcast might not be for you, okay? But, but

Nailah: 1:17:31

You don't have the range, babes.

Mirissa: 1:17:34

if you know, For the listeners that know, you know. For the listeners that don't, mmm, I'm so sorry. But um, but yeah, so that's those are my ice cream flavors for the different types of attractions for all my little crushes. Um, and then peanut butter ice cream, you can kiss my ass because, ew. Um, alright

Nailah: 1:17:55

That is okay. This is good. Yours was good. Yours was good. Okay. So, I've been thinking a lot about sexual. Like, I've actually been thinking a lot about it because I'm truly not sure what, what ice cream is like, is a sexual aspect for me.

Mirissa: 1:18:13

that you can be fucking with, like that is giving it to you good, Nala.

Nailah: 1:18:18

But Marissa, the, okay, let me, let me give a disclaimer. I am not an ice cream person. Like, I don't eat ice cream

Mirissa: 1:18:25

What about

Nailah: 1:18:26

often. But I'm gonna say that sexual Mookshakes are, mookshakes are Okay. But listen, I'm gonna say that sexual is a good ice cream sandwich. Like, and it's the one with the cookies, not the little square rectangle bitch. No, not her.

Mirissa: 1:18:44

chip cookie. and then

Nailah: 1:18:45

With the chocolate chip cookie, yes, and then you bite into it, the ice cream is light, it's fluffy, it's airy. You eat the whole thing, you're like, damn, can I get another one? But even though that one's kinda big, you still want another one? Like, that is sexual to me. That is the most sexual ice cream experience I think I've ever had

Mirissa: 1:19:05

Okay, Nailah

Nailah: 1:19:07

like I have to lick my fingers after I'm done cuz I eat it with my hands like come on you see what I'm doing You

Mirissa: 1:19:12

And then it makes sense because it's like it's vanilla in the middle, in the middle, but you like spice it up with the cookies, you know, cause it's like, it wouldn't be

Nailah: 1:19:20

It's it's good

Mirissa: 1:19:21

the, cookie flavor and like the, the, the structure of the, of the sandwich. Like

Nailah: 1:19:27

the structure. You're sandwiched in between come on. I mean you see it you see it

Mirissa: 1:19:34

Mmm. Alright, alright. Next up, next up.

Nailah: 1:19:40

Okay, so that is that what for romantic Romantic, I think I'm going to choose, so sometimes I'll get ice cream from like the grocery store, like in the little individual tubs, they have like Haggadah's ice cream. They have like a Ben and Jerry, like those, little

Mirissa: 1:19:57

Okay.

Nailah: 1:19:59

And so I had one recently and it was raspberry cheesecake. So, I personally really love cheesecake. And that was probably the best cheesecake based ice cream that I've had. And so, I'm gonna put that at romantic because it has layers. Like, the one I had, it had layers. It was good. It was good.

Mirissa: 1:20:19

She's not

Nailah: 1:20:20

She was, she was cute.

Mirissa: 1:20:21

sounds very cute.

Nailah: 1:20:23

She was cute and she's reliable for me. And to me, that is what's romantic. I want cute and reliable.

Mirissa: 1:20:29

We love to see it. All right.

Nailah: 1:20:31

Okay, platonic. Platonic would have to be

Mirissa: 1:20:35

Which flavor is your best friend?

Nailah: 1:20:39

Which flavor is my best friend? That was a really cute way of looking at it. I don't have a best friend.

Mirissa: 1:20:44

Which flavor is your close friend?

Nailah: 1:20:46

gonna say, I'm gonna say cookies and cream.

Mirissa: 1:20:49

Okay. That was actually my first choice for platonic. That's crazy. cause I moved it to the physical, but actually when I was first doing this cookies and cream was going to be my platonic. I Was thinking that it was because cookies and cream it's like a cute combo and friends are cute combos.

Nailah: 1:21:07

Yeah, that, that's where my head was at too. It's like, you're the cream, I'm the cookie. Together we're cookies and cream. It's a cute duo. it's a cute. duo. for aesthetic, I'm actually gonna choose an ice cream that I don't eat.

Mirissa: 1:21:21

I'm weak. Okay. Go ahead.

Nailah: 1:21:22

I'm going to choose an ice cream that I don't eat, but I think that sometimes it does look pretty, which is the butter pecan.

Mirissa: 1:21:30

Okay.

Nailah: 1:21:31

Like to me, it looks like a pretty ice cream. I'm just never going to eat it because I don't like pecans and the flavor is just not enough for me.

Mirissa: 1:21:38

I'm weak. I'm so weak.

Nailah: 1:21:41

that's my mom's favorite flavor and she'd be eating that shit up. I'd be like, okay, girl, It look good when you eat it

Mirissa: 1:21:47

good when you eat it. I'm so weak. That's a good one.

Nailah: 1:21:51

Okay, so sensual is chocolate.

Mirissa: 1:21:55

Yes.

Nailah: 1:21:56

Like, I think chocolate is just a delicate

Mirissa: 1:21:59

consider

Nailah: 1:22:01

it's it's that it's a sensual flavor. But I also don't typically eat I never eat chocolate ice cream. Like, ever. Zero.

Mirissa: 1:22:09

not for everybody.

Nailah: 1:22:10

But like, I can understand why people like chocolate ice cream. And that is also the sensual category for me. That's

Mirissa: 1:22:18

Yeah, before I moved cookies and cream from platonic to sensual, I had chocolate there. And to be honest, chocolate cookies and cream, hits different. It's actually really, really good. I've had that ice cream flavor before. And I guess that is truly the type of ice cream flavor that I would want to cuddle me. I would want the person that was holding me to smell like chocolate and cookies and cream ice cream. And I would love that. want chocolate to hold you.

Nailah: 1:22:47

I would

Mirissa: 1:22:48

To embrace you.

Nailah: 1:22:49

hold me. Chocolate can embrace me. Yes. Yes. And then, yeah, the last two are the same. Queer platonic for red velvet and the mesh for vanilla bean. Purr.

Mirissa: 1:23:07

for the same, for the same reasons.

Nailah: 1:23:09

reasons. Yeah, they align.

Mirissa: 1:23:10

Okay. It just makes too much sense. You know, um, all right. Thank you so much for playing the game. Listeners. Listen, come at me on social

Nailah: 1:23:18

was fun.

Mirissa: 1:23:19

what flavors go with these types of attractions because they can't all be the same flavor or can they? Ooh, we didn't even think about that. Did we?

Nailah: 1:23:28

Oop,

Mirissa: 1:23:29

tea. um, so Next segment, R. I. P. S. and R. A. N. T. S. Ooh, do I have a good one for y'all today? So, Nailah this So, the way this game It's not really a game, but it's like a segment or whatever. So the way this works, R. I. P. s. So you can either be rest in peace, which is good, or rest in pieces, which is not so good. So, your R. I. P. needs to be something that you have, that is"peaced" out, that is, that has left the building. It could be left the building and you know, Didn't let the door hit you where the good lord split you we're good Or it could be like we burnt some bridges when we left so the rant you'll see because I have a good one for you. Okay. So my rip, my, this is a rest in peace slash rest in pieces. Like it's good and bad. So 2023 RIP 2023 because that was a year for me. There was a lot going on. There was a lot going on with me. There was a lot going on in my life. There was a lot going on in the world in 2023. Um, am I happy? It's over. Yes. Like, I'm happy it's over, but I'm not because it's like, mm, I feel like I have some unfinished business in 2023, and that unfinished business has carried over into 2024, but it is what it is, you know, it can't go back in time. Yet um, but, you know, rest in peace 2023, because at the end of the day, like, that's a whole nother year of me being alive. Me accomplishing things, me learning new things, and that's the good about 2023. The bad about 2023 is this world is getting crazier and crazier. Like, I'm actually afraid. to be here sometimes. Like, if the aliens are out there, can y'all take me wherever y'all come from? Because this world is getting a little out of hand. Like, cause my, right, I I would, I would, appreciate if I could just be an intern on your planet just to see how I feel about it. Because at the end of the day, it might not even be worse than Earth. Like, it might be, it might be

Nailah: 1:25:30

Oh, imagine

Mirissa: 1:25:31

Earth, yikes, but if it's better, I'm not coming back after my internship. Um,

Nailah: 1:25:39

It's, it's turning into a

Mirissa: 1:25:40

this it'll be, this is where I will reside from from here on out with the aliens because Earth is ghetto. Um, so that's, that's my rip. And, um, my rant, listen, this is a rant because listeners, if you know, you know, and if you don't, you know, now, because I'm about to go in. Avatar the last airbender live action on Netflix.

Nailah: 1:26:02

The 22nd. The 22nd. I looked at the trailer and I have it ingrained in my brain. February 22nd.

Mirissa: 1:26:09

it took so long, It shouldn't have taken this long. I just don't appreciate that it took so long. The rant is really about the teases. Like, I feel like we got teased so much that it was coming and we didn't really know if it was or not. And It felt like a joke and it like that's not cool because my thing is people love, me included, I'm people, love, love, love, love, love that show. love that world, love the characters, and for people to be on social media, for people that worked for Netflix or whatever, to be teasing this stuff for so long, like, we might do it, we might not, that's just so hurtful to me, and that makes me mad. But February 22nd, February 22nd, listen,

Nailah: 1:26:54

February 22nd. Come on

Mirissa: 1:26:56

I am so ready, and I think, I don't think I could live a day past February 22nd without that show being available to watch.

Nailah: 1:27:07

Yeah, i'm gonna freak out but I hope I think they're gonna release it in

Mirissa: 1:27:11

And which is fine. I just need the first one to be released on

Nailah: 1:27:14

I don't like that

Mirissa: 1:27:15

on February 22nd.

Nailah: 1:27:16

it to be released all at once.

Mirissa: 1:27:19

no, because if they did that, everyone would binge it and then it would crash the site.

Nailah: 1:27:25

Then let it crash. I'm ready to binge. I want the

Mirissa: 1:27:30

Oh my gosh. But yeah, so I'm so excited, but at the same time, it's like, oh my God, like, this is giving me anxiety. But. It's been so long and we've been teased so much and we still don't even know if this is going to be like the greatest thing ever because it might not be but I really want it to be.

Nailah: 1:27:48

It might be awful. If it's awful, I think I might cry.

Mirissa: 1:27:51

I will, I will make a podcast episode completely dedicated to how bad it is if it's bad.

Nailah: 1:27:58

Did you see, like, the Avatar, like, rollout plan? Like, they posted a rollout plan where, like, when they're gonna release, like, a general time frame of when they're gonna release certain things

Mirissa: 1:28:12

oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did see when they were going to release like book one and book. Yeah. Okay. Yeah,

Nailah: 1:28:17

Yeah, I'm

Mirissa: 1:28:19

Yeah. Don't get me wrong. This rant does not mean that I'm not excited. This rant doesn't mean that I'm not a fan or whatever. It just means that I have been going through it in regards to the coming of this show. And I just need to get it off my chest. So yeah, that's my, yeah. So that's my rip and my rant, my RIP to 2023 and my rant about that live action show. Because listen, okay? Nala, all you. Ayyyyy.

Nailah: 1:28:46

rip is very personal to me. Today, I did a milestone and I purchased a new phone and this might not sound like a big deal because some people get phones very often, whereas my phone is pre pandemic. My phone is the XR. I got this before 2019. I think at the very beginning of 2019. It is an old phone. It is still the same phone. I have not had a replacement. Uh, shout out to my Otterbox and my screen protector that has kept her alive. Um, but yeah, it's a new phone. And the only reason why I'm getting a new phone is because Apple stops updating the phones after a certain, like, time. and this year, girl. girl, girl, okay, and so this year, they have stopped updating the xRs, and I just don't want my phone to blow up, so I have to get a new one before it blows up, uh, so yeah, RIP to her, it's a good RIP, she served me so well,

Mirissa: 1:29:57

to do. Period.

Nailah: 1:30:00

she has served me so well, but it's time to let her go, rest in peace babes. So, my rants. My rant is about this new fucking movie that's been going around. It's the one with all the black people. The color purple is my fucking rant. And I've, I've actually have it cursed. I don't know if you noticed, but I've barely cursed at all this, this podcast. Marissa, the fact that they recreated that trauma dump. is pissing me off. And the fact that Oprah's name was up there, the fact that the actors weren't getting paid, the fact that it's causing black arguments, black against black argument, has got me pissed off. And of course Oprah is at the forefront of this mess. Okay, the color purple did not need to be recreated. You could have left that one alone. You, I really, you really could have left that one alone. And I said it with my chest and I say it again. Okay, it did not need to be recreated. I know they love recreating stuff. I know black empowerment. I would love to see something new with all those black people. I would love for all of those talents to be used in a different way other than redoing trauma.

Mirissa: 1:31:16

sprinkle.

Nailah: 1:31:17

If you've ever seen The Color Purple, and maybe it was because I saw The Color Purple when I was very young, but that was a traumatic ass movie to me. I was like, I am never watching this shit again, and nobody ever should either. I get it. It's done. The musicals, the Broadway, the shows, everybody, they love it. And I respect that they love it. And I respect the history that it had, but that doesn't mean it needed to be recreated.

Mirissa: 1:31:42

Sprinkle, sprinkle.

Nailah: 1:31:43

And no, I didn't watch it. No, Oprah's not getting my dollar for seeing the movie for fucking 20 a pop. Cause movie tickets alone is another rent within itself. Cause why are they so expensive? I went to see,

Mirissa: 1:31:56

up.

Nailah: 1:31:58

I, girl, what? I went to see my, my movie that I'm gonna highlight in a little bit. I went to see that. It was like 20. I said, I'm not coming back no more. You know, you cannot, you can expect to not see me again. Okay? Like, why is it so expensive? But anyways, it just didn't need to be recreated. It's causing trauma. I'm on Taraji's side. I think Taraji has a point. And the thing is, I shouldn't even be taking sides. Because Oprah Winfrey has then caused another damn argument within the Black community. Again. Okay, and maybe Oprah is my rant her and her damn I know her name got eradicated from the damn list. But anyways, the Harvey Weinstein list. But anyways, that's it. That's what

Mirissa: 1:32:45

First the n word and now the color purple. Oprah, girl, why? but anyway, yeah, I definitely see what you're saying. What's crazy is, when I found out they were recreating this movie, I actually did this very recently. Um, I don't like to watch movies without reading the book first. Like if there is a movie that is based off a book, I have to read the book first but, The Color Purple I read that book. When I tell you you are spot on talking about how it's just a trauma dump of a book, it is a trauma dump of a book. It is a beautifully written book. But it's a trauma dump of a book and I'm it's so traumatic and my thing is do I feel like every story needs to Be told. Yes. Do I feel like that story needed to be told? Yes, do I feel like it needed to be recreated into a film Do I do feel like it was for people to watch with their eyes versus? You know, read on paper in a book, uh, I watched the first movie right after I finished that book. It was very, very, very,

Nailah: 1:33:44

Mm hmm.

Mirissa: 1:33:45

very closely, closely aligned with the book. Like it was almost like word for word, scene for scene with the book. Um, so I respect that about the original movie because it's like, they did the book justice as far as recreating what actually happened. Um,

Nailah: 1:34:01

hmm.

Mirissa: 1:34:02

However, do I appreciate, what the entire story is about and then first having to read it and having to watch it? Do I think the actors did what they were supposed to do in the original movie? Yes, because my thing is I felt that what they were feeling what they were talking about what was happening I felt that because the acting was done very well was done very thoroughly. They did their job Now the fact that it's being recreated. I am on both sides of the fence with this. I have to respect the fact that this is giving people a job, I'm not talking about even the actors and actresses, I'm talking about crews, I'm talking about camera people, I'm talking about, you know, producers and all of that. It's your job is to create a finished product and you never want to start something and not finish it because that is money wasted, and so I feel the people that are behind the scenes, this is their livelihood. Like this is what they're here for. They are here to create something. And so, I have to respect that just because I think that that's, a very important aspect of that entire industry, not specifically with this movie, but with the entire industry is just like, I respect that. It's not just the acting that's involved. It's not just the writers that are involved. It's not just the directors that are involved. There are a lot of behind the scenes people that we don't even know about that had to play a role in this. And this was their livelihood, this paid them so they could take care of their families and

Nailah: 1:35:20

Right.

Mirissa: 1:35:22

Also, the reason why I have to respect it is because I, personally don't think this is the best choice of film or whatever for black people to be in, but I love seeing all black cast. I love seeing that because for so long that didn't exist ever for a long, long, long, long time. And the fact that we have so many movies now that have all black cast and the fact that now they're starting to get like recognition from Actors guilds Oscars, like all those types of things, the fact that they're starting to get that type of recognition over white people,

Nailah: 1:35:55

it's, like, this is for the, this is

Mirissa: 1:35:57

right. Okay. Um, so my thing is the fact that they're winning awards over white people that have been in the game just as long or longer than they have that type of thing. That's why I respect it. That's another reason why I respect this movie is because of the the people like the seeing black actors having their moment in the sun, so to speak. Do I think it needed to be this movie? No. Do I respect this movie for giving that opportunity to people? Yes. Now as far as on the other side of it, do I think they needed to make this into a musical? Absolutely not. Why is it a musical? There was

Nailah: 1:36:30

girl,

Mirissa: 1:36:31

like in the book, there was like a little bit of singing. The original movie, there was a little bit of singing, but a musical

Nailah: 1:36:38

girl. It's a full fledged musical and I don't know what's up recently, but I've just been seeing a lot of musicals being released, being advertised,

Mirissa: 1:36:47

I love a musical. I really truly do. But for this. I don't, no, I don't think I want that. And y'all keep in mind that I have not seen this either. They could have done a very, yeah, well, they could have done a fantastic job with this movie, you know, this film, this musical, and it could be great, but also it's just kind of like, I'm on the fence about it at the end of the day, just because I want everything to be great that's created by, all these black people. Like, I love that. But at the same time, why was it this? Did Alice even want this? Like, Or did Oprah, like, convince her that she wanted it? And then my thing is, And do not get so, so that's how I feel about all of that. And, um, but yeah, so am I going to eventually see that movie? Probably because I'm nosy. I just have to see stuff like that. Am I going to pay money to see it? No. Yeah, like I'm not gonna pay money to see it.

Nailah: 1:37:41

I said, part of, of my beef was, is also with the movie theaters for these

Mirissa: 1:37:46

The money has nothing to do with the actual creation of this. It has everything to do with how expensive it would be to go see it. That's that on that for me. That's how I feel about all of that. But yeah, I definitely think you brought up a very good point Nala. So thank you for sharing your rant. You're ripping your rant with me and the listeners.

Nailah: 1:38:01

Sorry that it wasn't more

Mirissa: 1:38:02

I know I felt

Nailah: 1:38:04

Okay.

Mirissa: 1:38:05

it cuz that was that was a rant Okay Like I love when rants are a rant because sometimes your rant can be like you're not saying it with your chest like no say It with your chest All right, word of the week. So my word of the week, my word of the week is protuberance

Nailah: 1:38:24

Oh

Mirissa: 1:38:24

and what that means. Is like something protruding and I just like the way protuberance sounds because it's just like if something you don't want to say something is sticking out you want to say something is protruding there if there's a situation where there's protuberance like that's the word you want to use you don't want to say a bump or a lump or a projection you want to say a protuberance I just like the way that sounds

Nailah: 1:38:47

That's really funny, actually.

Mirissa: 1:38:49

show today. So, yeah, you're welcome Nala and listeners. Nala, do you have a word?

Nailah: 1:38:56

Thank you. My word is a word that I've actually said a few times throughout this podcast, but I think this word is more important. Like, I know I kind of say it in a joking way, but I think this word is actually very important into understanding what other people are going through and understanding situations outside of your own. Or even fully understanding your own situation, which is nuance. Nuance is a very important thing to have. especially when in conversation about or with social, anything like when it comes to social socialness, social interactions, social ideas, nuance is very important and people that don't have nuance are people

Mirissa: 1:39:39

period

Nailah: 1:39:40

want in my life.

Mirissa: 1:39:42

if you're a listener and you don't have a nuance I'm so sorry like I feel really bad for you You should really go get some. I wish I could sell it to you, um, cause I'd make a killing. Um, but unfortunately, that's not how that works. So I think you should, again, tap, tap in, do some research, figure out what nuance is if you don't know and get some because it's great. It makes life easier when you

Nailah: 1:40:05

some. It's like the posters where it's like got milk

Mirissa: 1:40:08

got nuance?

Nailah: 1:40:09

got nuance

Mirissa: 1:40:10

don't have nuance, then what are you even doing? How do you even live your best

Nailah: 1:40:14

Go home.

Mirissa: 1:40:15

it? You're not living your best life if you don't have any nuance. I'm sorry, but you're not. Okay. And, um, I don't know what you're doing. And then my thing is, if, if you, if you lack nuance for your entire life and then you die without it, did you even really live? A life?

Nailah: 1:40:38

No, you didn't you don't know what

Mirissa: 1:40:40

you don't have nuance? Like what are you doing?

Nailah: 1:40:43

You're struggling

Mirissa: 1:40:44

wonder how much nuance would cost if we sold it because I might need to tap into that.

Nailah: 1:40:50

Would charge a lot for it

Mirissa: 1:40:52

It's very important but also I feel like it should be like a subscription based thing. Um, anyway.

Nailah: 1:40:58

Mmm,

Mirissa: 1:41:00

Oh, but thank you for sharing your word, Nala. I appreciate it. I really like that word. I like to say it and I like what it means and I like how it is applied because listen, nuance makes the world go round. Music rec for this week. So my music rec You guys should know this about me. If you don't much I'm about to tell you right now I listen to all kinds of music all genres all artists all the things. I pretty much like all music country debatable I'm getting there with country. It's gonna be a minute. I'm trying you guys. I'm really trying with country music. I really really am But as far as everything else I'm here for it. So With that being said, this, this rec is very different from last episode. Last episode was Sabrina Claudio. That's my girl. I like the R& B. I like the vibes. I like the aesthetic that she creates. I'm aesthetically attracted to Sabrina Claudio's music because I feel like you, I can visualize it and it's beautiful. It's a thick woman.

Nailah: 1:41:59

Okay.

Mirissa: 1:42:02

It's a thick plushy person.

Nailah: 1:42:03

Okay.

Mirissa: 1:42:04

that's warm and likes to cuddle with me. Nice and soft. Oh, so it's my, her music is my lush slash my swish. Sabrina claudio. Yeah. So yeah, like that music. Tap in if you haven't already. But for this week, very, very different. We're going in a completely different direction. So music rec for this week, it's actually a specific song, but also the artist as well. So the song playing God, playing God, G O D playing God by PolyphP O L Y P H I A Love that band. Love their music. Playing God. Now this,

Nailah: 1:42:44

music is this?

Mirissa: 1:42:45

the thing. It can be a lot of things. It can be, it can, it's like a mesh. It's a mesh. because It's it's

Nailah: 1:42:55

fair.

Mirissa: 1:42:56

metal It's just instrumental. There's no words. Um, it's,

Nailah: 1:43:05

I I love I love

Mirissa: 1:43:07

Okay. And then when it makes you like, feel like there don't, they're like there doesn't even need to be words. Like when a song, just the instrumentals alone, do it for you. There doesn't need to be words or the opposite. Any lyrics could go with the song. I love that. I love that so much.

Nailah: 1:43:23

Yeah, I'm into that too. I I think it's a It's an art form

Mirissa: 1:43:28

Right. So, um, so yeah, So, my mesh. As far as music goes is, Polyphia's music and specifically the song Playing God, that song came out, I think, 2022 or 2023, I think it was 2022, on their album or as a single, and I just love it. I wish I could play the guitar so I could play that song because it just is beautiful and I love it so much. But yeah, so very different than last week's music rec, but that's my music rec for this week. It's both that song, that specific song, but then also tap into all of Polyphia's music because it's really, really beautiful. Nailah did you have a music rec?

Nailah: 1:44:04

I do, actually. And mine is also, like, rockish. I have been really into two things recently. And that is the first one being like a rap rock song and the second one being Meg the fucking stallion, okay? And I just want to give Meg a lot of love right now. If you are on Black Twitter, you may know what I'm talking about as she is releasing new music. And miss And a particular queen is really angry with her. Okay, it's so Okay, and so shout out to Meg and Meg's recent song not the one that just dropped but the one before that her single Cobra it has a rock Mix that is good It is good. This should have been the original release. This should have been the only release. It is much, much better than I feel like the rap version of her song. The Cobra Rock version by Megan Thee Stallion. Please listen to it. It's really good. It's really good. And so that is my music recommendation of the week.

Mirissa: 1:45:21

Love it. We love to see it. I'm excited to listen to it. Thank you so much.

Nailah: 1:45:25

yeah, I'm

Mirissa: 1:45:26

Yeah, thanks listeners listen to our music cuz we're really good at recommending music period Next film slash TV show recommendation of the week. For me Okay, so last, last week Nala, um, was Squid Game because I'd never seen it and Squid Game the challenge because it was the reality show based off of the actual show and I'm still in the midst of finishing up the challenge

Nailah: 1:45:51

ha,

Mirissa: 1:45:52

My recommendation actually for this week is the Season one of SpongeBob SquarePants. It's available on prime right now. And the reason why I'm recommending that to watch it is because when I tell you that season has so many beautiful one liners in it. That only true Spongebob fans, understand and just love. Season 2 had some pretty good one liners too, but, Season 1, man, like, the creators of that show knew what they were doing. That's all I have to say. I'm a really big Spongebob fan. Come at me on social media if you're a big SpongeBob fan and, uh, quote me some SpongeBob.

Nailah: 1:46:28

No, I love that. I'ma definitely, cause I've been into watching, like, comfort shows a lot lately. And so, like, Spongebob, I'm definitely gonna, I'm definitely gonna watch. I'm probably gonna watch it as soon as we get done with this. I'm not gonna

Mirissa: 1:46:41

this is the experience that I've had watching SpongeBob. Watching SpongeBob as a kid is one thing. Watching SpongeBob as an adult is an entirely different experience. I really want, It's fun in a completely different way. I need people to really tap into watching. cartoons as adults because at the end of the day, cartoons were created by adults. Even though they were created for kids, they were created by adults and the people that are voice acting in most of them are adults. adults. need to be watching cartoons, point blank period. So therefore. I think everyone, if you're over the age of 18 years old, You're a legal adult, tap into watching season one of Spongebob because listen, it hits different. If you're like, Oh, that's a kid show or Oh, Spongebob is so stupid. You are missing the entire point. get some get some nuance.

Nailah: 1:47:33

Hey, come on.

Mirissa: 1:47:35

I guess, if You don't, if you're missing the point of Spongebob and you just think it's stupid, you might be lacking in some nuance. I would love to sell you some, but it doesn't work that way. So you might want to go out and find it. Okay. Um,

Nailah: 1:47:51

No, they gotta find that. That is lame. They're a

Mirissa: 1:47:55

um, and then I actually don't have a film recommendation, but I do have another recommendation for this week. Just because I've been listening to it a lot recently. And that is another podcast. And that podcast is called Solo. S O L O. And the host is Peter McGraw. He's a, I think a behavioral researcher or something like that. And anyway, so this podcast is all about living a remarkable life as a single person. Because so many people view single solo, S O L O The Single Person's Guide to a Remarkable Life. And my thing is, I am a solo. I will probably eternally be single. Even if I'm in a relationship, I'm still a solo because it's me, myself and I, and that other person is just there. It's the main character energy all day over here. So I really like this podcast because it flips the script on what being single is all about. And I think more people need to tap into what singleness is, how awesome it is, what being single means to them and how to live a remarkable life in spite of You know, being partnered up, being in a relationship and all that jazz, because really it's not really all that cracked up to be. You will learn that when you listen to the show. And they're using science to back all this up. So if you're thinking, Oh, this is just an opinion piece podcast. No, my podcast is an opinion piece podcast. This is actually based on research. So nice try. So yeah, listeners, I definitely think if you listen to my podcast and you enjoy my last episode and this episode, you will really enjoy Solo. I started at the beginning, there's over 200 episodes of it. I've been listening to them and they are wonderful. So, yeah, those are my recs. Nailah what you got?

Nailah: 1:49:35

Bet! Okay, yeah. I can be a very indecisive person, and so I was struggling to decide which ones, and so I just decided that I don't have to decide, so I'm gonna do all of them.

Mirissa: 1:49:48

Okay.

Nailah: 1:49:49

It's three. It's three. And they do fit different categories. The first one is a show, and it is called Carol and the End of the World. It's on Netflix. It is really good. Imagine this ordinary middle aged white woman. And the whole world is ending. Like, you know how like in movies sometimes it's like, Oh, the meteor is gonna hit the earth and then like we're all gonna die. It's kind of that energy, except like, you know the meteor is gonna hit way before it actually hits. And so, you know, the world is going to end and everybody is just sort of having to choose how they want to live their last days. And this is how this very regular average middle aged woman with some social anxiety this is how her story and how she decides it compared to other people in her life, her friends, her family. And it is so good. I'm talking like, imagine like an average Joe, but in a woman, like an unremarkable person,

Mirissa: 1:50:50

we love to see unremarkable people on TV you guys listeners to see

Nailah: 1:50:54

it is really good.

Mirissa: 1:50:57

Refreshing to see people that ain't shit because most people in this world ain't shit

Nailah: 1:51:03

Yeah, and it's not a long series, but it's actually been taking me a long time to get through it because it always leaves me just like, I just think a little bit after the show. It just makes me think and so then I stop watching for a little bit, but it's, it's really good. I would really recommend. So yeah, I'm not finished with it yet. So I don't know how it ends. We'll see, but it's good. And so, my movie recommendation is Mean Girls The musical.

Mirissa: 1:51:33

Oh Sprinkle. Sprinkle,

Nailah: 1:51:34

Sprinkle. Sprinkle. Have you seen it?

Mirissa: 1:51:36

No

Nailah: 1:51:38

It's good. I saw it twice.

Mirissa: 1:51:40

Okay, I'm excited then.

Nailah: 1:51:43

I saw it twice. Yes. Well, at first I was like, okay, I know this is a musical. I know I'm not super huge on musicals, but we'll see where this goes. Like I'm open. Right. I get in there the opening song. I'm like, Oh, this is not going to be good.

Mirissa: 1:52:00

not, this is not this is not giving what it's supposed to have gave.

Nailah: 1:52:04

This is not going to be good. And then I was like, wait a second. It might actually be good, but also Cady is not the Cady, like this Cady is not a Lindsay Lohan. Their Regina George was not the old Regina George. They're different. They're truly different. But it kind of feels like if a theater kid really put together a movie, it very much gives like an actual theater performance.

Mirissa: 1:52:30

is some serious sprinkle sprinkle because I like that. Ooh.

Nailah: 1:52:34

Me too, I really appreciated it. And let me tell you, the songs, Regina George's songs, because mind you, it's a musical, they all have their own little songs. Regina George's songs, bABY! Iconic. Yes, Renee

Mirissa: 1:52:54

She, I got a little swish on her. I got a little swish on her. I got a little mesh on

Nailah: 1:53:00

I have a mesh. I don't know what it is, but I want

Mirissa: 1:53:02

I got a little, I got a little smush. I got a little, I got a little bit of everything. I got all the things on her. Cause I appreciate, I appreciate, everything that she's giving. She is giving. Okay. Um, and so yeah, I

Nailah: 1:53:15

Yeah.

Mirissa: 1:53:15

I can see where you're coming from with that. Even though I haven't even seen this. I see where you're going. I see the direction that the wheels are turning and I like it. I like it a lot.

Nailah: 1:53:24

Mirissa, it is actually good, especially, especially Renee Rap. I want to say it's just her performance, but no, they made her songs and her scenes feel much different from everybody else's. And it is incredible. Specifically, one scene and one song specifically. So, the Halloween party scene, that song? Eats I could listen to it a thousand times. It's so good.

Mirissa: 1:53:55

that makes me happy.

Nailah: 1:53:57

good. So yeah, I saw it twice. I saw it twice. It was

Mirissa: 1:54:01

Wow.

Nailah: 1:54:02

really good.

Mirissa: 1:54:02

yeah, if it's that good and that song is that good, cause right now the, I'm waiting for a musical to top my love for Encanto, that movie. Yeah, because right now. We don't talk about Bru- no, no, no. If there is a song out there that can top that, okay. Because right now nothing can top that. My thing is they are giving plot in a song. They are giving drama in a song. They are giving Everything in a song and they're interracial couple and they're Hispanic. And I just, I love it so much.

Nailah: 1:54:38

then I'm, I'm excited to hear your thoughts on mean girls. Whenever you do watch it.

Mirissa: 1:54:43

So if Regina George of all people can top that can top Bruno not being talked about. Oh my God.

Nailah: 1:54:50

Also, I would like to say for Mean Girls, it feels very Gen Z, but not in a weird, corny, stereotypical way.

Mirissa: 1:54:59

rant for another

Nailah: 1:55:00

like, right, okay, but it really feels like is just like a new generation of the Plastics. Which

Mirissa: 1:55:08

Love it. We

Nailah: 1:55:09

to watch.

Mirissa: 1:55:11

Oh, I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

Nailah: 1:55:14

it. I'm into it. Yeah, I would

Mirissa: 1:55:17

Thank you. Ooh.

Nailah: 1:55:20

Just ignore the opening.

Mirissa: 1:55:23

Okay. Okay. I'll keep that in mind.

Nailah: 1:55:26

But actually, the second time I watched it, I kind of appreciated it more. So, you know.

Mirissa: 1:55:30

that? That's so rude.

Nailah: 1:55:32

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied.

Mirissa: 1:55:34

All right. You had another one. Yeah.

Nailah: 1:55:35

And my last, my last one is an anime. And this is an anime that I've seen, I'm on my second watch. And, you know, I don't, there's, there's tons of animes out there that are more common, but this specific anime is called Kekoguri, it's like, it's a gambling anime. It's spelled K A K E G U R U I. It's a gambling anime, but It is psychotic. It is crazy. The girl, like, imagine a high school where the social currency is like based on your gambling abilities.

Mirissa: 1:56:12

Oh, that is my type of school. Okay.

Nailah: 1:56:15

And but like they actually like get off like there's like a very like sexual connotation to the height of gambling is sort of kind of like compared to the height of like a climax a sexual climax but you know they don't actually come it's not like weird but it's just it's really interesting and I really like it

Mirissa: 1:56:35

why can't I attend a school like this? Because this is my type of school. Like this is where I'm meant to be.

Nailah: 1:56:43

school is for the elite. This school is for the people that have money.

Mirissa: 1:56:47

know what

Nailah: 1:56:48

Because you gotta, you gotta buy in the gamble.

Mirissa: 1:56:51

I feel like my con artist skills are so top tier that I could make them think I am the elite.

Nailah: 1:56:57

Mirissa, that's the thing. You can for sure cheat. Cheating is okay if you don't get caught.

Mirissa: 1:57:03

Okay. And period because it is.

Nailah: 1:57:06

But yeah, so they have like, they have the original anime, they have a little spinoff for one of the characters, and then they have like, a live action. Haven't seen the live action. So I'm not gonna recommend or not recommend that one, but actual animated version of the show is really good. So yeah, that's, those are my

Mirissa: 1:57:25

I am so excited. Um, I have not tapped into the anime space yet, like ever.

Nailah: 1:57:31

You can start with this. This one's a

Mirissa: 1:57:33

I'm getting there. I really am trying to get into anime because I just, I, you know, there's just, there's so much there and I feel like I would love it a lot. I just haven't gotten there yet because it's just like, I want to make sure I'm. I'm ready. I feel like once you go anime, there's no turning back.

Nailah: 1:57:51

I'm

Mirissa: 1:57:52

I feel like it's between anime and K pop because I'm not even, I feel like

Nailah: 1:58:00

I'm not tapped into K pop

Mirissa: 1:58:01

into either of those two things, my obsessive personality disorder will like take over. I'll be lost in the sauce, but we're going to make sure that doesn't happen. Okay. So anyway,

Nailah: 1:58:16

Okay, good.

Mirissa: 1:58:17

listeners again, this is a safe space. Don't judge me. I can say what I want. This is my podcast. And if I get lost in the sauce, it wouldn't be my fault. And also, if you

Nailah: 1:58:27

Well,

Mirissa: 1:58:28

and watch a lot of anime, you're lost in the sauce, so you cannot judge me.

Nailah: 1:58:34

I haven't, I, listen, this is a judge free zone, if you get voluntarily lost in the sauce, that is voluntarily your fault.

Mirissa: 1:58:44

I feel like it wouldn't be. I feel like I would do, I'd be doing nothing wrong. I didn't choose to be lost. It chose me.

Nailah: 1:58:53

Mmm, lost chose you right.

Mirissa: 1:58:55

so, Nailah, do you have any, um, shout outs or shameless plugs? That you want to, uh,

Nailah: 1:59:04

Um, I don't have any shameless plugs, you can find me on whatever social media you want at Nala, N A I L A H underscore P O V. It's nothing sexual. That's just the username I came up with.

Mirissa: 1:59:17

And she said what she said. It's nothing sexual. It's just her username, so chill out. You can find me on x slash Twitter at hate my voice pod. You can find me on Instagram at hate my voice pod one. The number one, not the word one. Number one. Um, and you can become a patron of mine at, uh, patron. com slash I hate the sound of my own voice. And

Nailah: 1:59:41

Oh, listen. This is your time to really capitalize on this Patreon. Okay, Mirissa's Patreon, the base level, come on now. It doesn't get cheaper than that. It is 2. Okay, there are higher tiers that I want you to work your way up to. If you got it off rip, that's where I want you to start. Let's not fool ourselves, okay? But if you need to work your way up to it, please do so. Cause the Patreon is lit. Mirissa is lit. Even if you made it to the end of this podcast, you're lit. And you deserve, you deserve the privilege of that Patreon purr.

Mirissa: 2:00:16

And that's on forever and ever. Amen. Okay. Nailah said it. Everything that Nailah has said, yeah, I doubled down on that patreon.com/ihatethesoundofmyownvoice the tiers read them read them See what you want. Don't make a hasty decision. Okay, you'd be like, oh 2 like no No, no read the other tiers cuz you might be tapping into something that you really really want That 2 might not cut it. Okay. So thank you Nailah so much. Shout out to Nailah for being my guest today, you guys, because,

Nailah: 2:00:49

Thank you for having me. It's been a privilege and a

Mirissa: 2:00:52

so y'all know, this is literally how most of our conversations go. they usually last this long or longer and the rapport is how it was the entire time that we were discussing. Like, that's how it always is. So if you want to hear more of this. Patreon. That's how you can let me know, actually. Let me know. Social media, Patreon, tell me that you want more Nailah, okay? Yeah, she wants to come back, you guys. You see how these conversations go. We don't have to give y'all these conversations. We are choosing to give y'all these conversations, cause these happen quite a bit, and we want to let y'all in, but at the same time, you know, y'all got to let me know something. I need y'all to make something shake on this Patreon. Okay. So yeah, without further ado, you guys, that is it for this episode. We're wrapping it up. Always remember, this is the arospace this is a safe space. You're here to learn something. And I really hope you enjoyed listening to this episode. Thank you so, so much. Peace out Girl Scouts. Bye.

Nailah: 2:01:45

Bye!