Episode 1: Split Attraction Model (SAM)

Welcome to the very first episode of I Hate the Sound of My Own Voice. In this episode, Mirissa and her guest discuss what the split attraction model is and why it's important. 

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Transcript

Mirissa: [00:00:00] What's up, G.I.R.L? This is Mirissa, and welcome to I Hate the Sound of My Own Voice. It's important to remember that when listening to this podcast, being a G I R L is very important. So let me explain. G stands for Genuine. This podcast discusses topics in an authentic and candid way, so being a genuine listener means practicing empathy and understanding.

I stands for Intelligent. As an intelligent listener, think of every episode of this podcast as a learning opportunity. This podcast is a way for both speakers and listeners to think in unconventional ways and broaden their horizons. R stands for respectful. There may be things that are said on this podcast that listeners don't like or may not agree with.

That's completely understandable. This podcast is a safe space where speakers and listeners are respected for their differences without judgments or negativity. And of course, L stands for listener. This podcast is not only for the host or for the guests, but also for the audience of listeners. Join the community of G.I.R.L.S to ask questions and learn more about the aromantic space or aro-space as I like to call it. And yes, guys can be G.I.R.L.s too. [00:01:00] All my socials will be mentioned at the end of the show. And as always, shoutout to OZ Sound Beats for the wonderful intro and outro music. Alright G.I.R.L.s we are now entering the aro-space. I hope you learn something and enjoy!

 Welcome to the very first episode of I hate the sound of my own voice. I am your host, Mirissa. I'm so excited to be recording with one of my really good friends today. Just some general reminders before we get started with the rest of the episode. Just remember this is a safe space.

 Judgment free, no negativity. We're trying to keep it as positive and light in here as possible, but we are going to be as open and honest and candid as possible as well. And, you know, this is my very first episode doing a podcast, so I have no idea what [00:02:00] I'm doing. So keep that in mind when you're listening to this and you want to give me any feedback on social media, you know, don't come for me because I literally do not know what I'm doing.

So, without further ado, I'm going to have my guest introduce herself. Go right ahead, guest.

Cheyenne: Hi everybody, I'm Cheyenne or some people might know me as Chai. I go by either or and I'm glad to be here. Do you want me to tell them anything else about myself right 

Mirissa: now?

Yeah, go ahead and, um, like, like pronouns, age, and all that.

Cheyenne: All right, yeah, cool. So like I said, my name is Chai. Um, I am 24. I live in New York. My pronouns are she and her and I'm really excited to be a part of this podcast. I mean, when Mirissa told me about the idea, I thought it was pretty awesome. If there's anybody I know that would do a podcast or do it really well or do it really entertaining, it would probably be her. If any of you guys have ever had a conversation with her, it can go from being super simple to the most craziest thing and thought process ever. [00:03:00] So yeah, I just figured well, I should be a part of her podcast and here I am so I believe in this episode We're talking about split attraction model. is that 

Mirissa: is correct. 

We are going to be talking about the split attraction model. I'm so excited. Real quick, in case any of you guys, don't follow me on social media yet or did not listen to my trailer or anything. I'm Mirissa, I'm 26. My pronouns are she, her, I live right outside of Charlotte, North Carolina.

And then Cheyenne and I know each other from college. So just want to throw all of that out there in case you guys don't already know me, this is your first time listening to. Anything that I've put on the internet. So yes, the topic for today is split attraction model. So Cheyenne, I know I told you to do some research about the topic before we started recording this episode So in your own words, are you able to describe what you feel like the split attraction model is also known as SAM that's the acronym for it. Can you describe it in your own words?

Cheyenne: Yeah, so when Mirissa first brought up this Idea about split attraction model. I had no idea what it was like literally [00:04:00] zero things about it. I Figured it might be, I guess, split like for different people or whatever, like that, just, just going off the top of my head. But after that, I decided to do my own research, both on Google and TikTok. Cause you know, TikTok has become the new google search engine. And so I guess I was pretty much correct. It really is. You know, experiencing, I guess, people in different ways, both romantic and sexual. Um, it doesn't have to be just one set thing. You can, I guess, like somebody like this and love somebody like that. But it doesn't have to fit in one particular category. It's kind of just like that. Both. So obviously split.

Mirissa: Yeah, absolutely, So I did research this myself, even though I already knew what it was, but the definition that I pulled from verywellmind. com is that the split attraction model is a framework that differentiates between romantic and sexual [00:05:00] attraction, so kind of like what you were talking about, Cheyenne.

So with that framework, it's basically saying that when it comes to orientations, sexual orientations are separate than romantic orientation. So therefore, just because someone identifies as, you know, straight or gay, lesbian, whatever, that does not mean that their romantic orientation or attraction is the exact same as that it can be different and so I'm one of those people. I think you already kind of know that about me, Cheyenne. So I personally identify as a bi demisexual. And then of course for those of you that don't know what that means, it means that I have a sexual attraction to both men and women. More so men than women, but there's definitely an attraction to women there. And what demisexual means just basically it means that my sexual attraction grows the more, I'm emotionally connected to someone, the more rapport I have with them, the more, safe I feel around them, the stronger my sexual attraction is to that person.

And then as far as my romantic orientation, I am aromantic. I don't have any romantic attraction to anyone, nor do I desire to be in a [00:06:00] romantic relationship. And normally when people hear that, they think I'm making that up. And I'm just like, I, I, like, I don't, I don't know how I could be making that up, because I've been this way my entire life.

But I just didn't have words to put towards that feeling, that orientation that I have about myself until I got older. But Cheyenne you said you had never heard of this, this model before I told you about this episode topic, right?

Cheyenne: Yeah, not even a little bit. I feel like I'm pretty, pretty decently versed on a lot of, um, like orientations and models and certain things that would probably fit under the same umbrella. But this one I definitely did not know about at all. And when I was reading about it, I was like, Oh, well, this is definitely interesting. I myself was like, I guess. This kind of explains a lot of things, um, with me 

personally that I just never [00:07:00] thought about or never had words to, you know, say it about, but, um, yeah,

Mirissa: So before learning about the split attraction model, did you already have an idea that romantic and sexual orientations were not the same thing? That like there's, there actually are distinct differences between the two. 

Cheyenne: yes, 

Mirissa: Okay. So you were like aware of that. Cause some people, I don't think understand that. Like that's how that works. I think they think that if you are. If you are sexually attracted to, like, the same sex, then that means that you're also romantically attracted only to the same sex. Like, you can only be in a romantic/sexual relationship with, the same sex. Or, you know, the opposite sex or whatever. And it's like, mm, that's not necessarily true. But yeah, okay, so you did already have an understanding that those two were, were separate. And so when you were doing your research about the topic, like reading about it or watching TikToks about it was it easy to understand or was it kind of confusing?

Cheyenne: I would say it was kind of moderate. I had to hear a couple of people explain it to [00:08:00] me for me to really be like, Oh yeah, okay. I get it. But it wasn't like crazy out the way that I didn't understand it. 

Mirissa: Gotcha. Okay. Now, when you were doing your research, I know this is like, this is like such a like weird question to ask, but it's like important to me. When you were researching this and you were like on TikTok and stuff, were these creators, were any of them like not white? 

Cheyenne: Nope, they were all white. And, um, I feel like that highlights his own little tidbit in his own way. One, because I feel like queer white people and queer Black people live two different lives, although they may, you know, have similar, like, 

Mirissa: Yeah. 

Cheyenne: live two different lives. So for 

Mirissa: So it was definitely like, this is, this is Caucasian territory. Like the black queer space has not even tapped into this. Okay. So we're, we're breaking ground here, Cheyenne. We breaking ground girl. cause listen, no, cause that's the [00:09:00] same. That's like the same experience that I had when I was looking up this stuff and trying to learn more about myself. I did not see myself represented at all with people on the internet talking about this. Nobody looks like me. And at the same time, nobody really like experienced these things the same way I was experiencing it. And I would like to just reduce it down to just race. Like it's not technically just race, but it's, but race plays a big part in it, I think just because the black experience and then add in the black queer experience add in the black girl queer experience it all is like layers that make my experience a lot different than a lot of these white creators. But my thing is, at the end of the day I guess that doesn't necessarily change the framework or the model itself. It's just I experienced it a little bit different. You probably do too, if you identify with anything on the framework. So what were some of the terms that you came across that you might have like never heard of or that you thought were interesting?

Cheyenne: With this 

Mirissa: Yeah, with the particular model, because I know that some of the terms like people are just like [00:10:00] aromantic, like, is that even a word and it's like, it absolutely is.

Cheyenne: All right, all right. So when I was researching it, I did see a lot of combination with aro and ace how this seems to very much follow aro and ace people. However, personally, I think that, you know, the split attraction model does not necessarily always go towards them as being the only people that can experience it 

Um, I think bisexual people can I think pansexual people can I think 

Mirissa: Absolutely. 

Cheyenne: I think a lot of people can actually relate to it and I think because it's been probably spearheaded as an aro and ace thing that a lot of people also haven't really peeked into that. Um, I identify as bisexual and when reading it and hearing other [00:11:00] people talk about it, they were like, well, you know, I kind of experienced this as a bi woman or a bisexual man. And I know that for a long time, I didn't put a term on myself just because one, I didn't feel the need to at all. I didn't really care whether it was labeled or not. And two, because the tiny bit of people, and I mean like two people that did know or kind of hint at it or be like, maybe she is. When I would kind of explain it to them, they're like, "well, I don't know. It's not like you can just be sexually attracted to one or romantically involved with the other. You kind of have to have it be equal for both." And I personally didn't think that was right. So I would kind of like feel like, me being bisexual wasn't a thing.

Mirissa: Yeah. Okay. I 

yeah, I see that got you

Cheyenne: it. Yeah.

So. 

Mirissa: the qualifications to 

identify as bisexual. Yeah, I totally get that Yeah, I feel like I've [00:12:00] been I I've had a similar experience with that as well because it's just like I've known for a very long time even before I had the knowledge of these terms that I Was attracted to both men and women, but I knew I could never see myself in a romantic relationship With this was before I know I was a romantic with women per se like if I ever imagined myself like dating someone I would never imagine myself dating a woman.

I always imagined myself Dating a man, but that didn't necessarily negate the fact that I still found you know, women appealing to look at. Like, I definitely think, like, the female body is a beautiful thing, that should be celebrated. I feel like even gay guys should, like, appreciate the female body and all it has to offer because, like, we built different, okay?

But once I realized that I was aromantic that didn't change necessarily my sexual orientation. So obviously my romantic orientation, my sexual orientation are not the same thing. Like I identify as an aromantic person, but I do not identify as an asexual person.

I feel like that's like. not a common thing. I feel [00:13:00] like a lot of asexual people identify as aromantic . And you might've came across that when you were doing your research too. Cause I came across that when I was doing my research, but I definitely think that more people like you were saying that don't identify in that, you know, in the A spec world should definitely think more about how their romantic and sexual attractions are two separate things because obviously for some people they are one in the same, they are homosexual and homoromantic. They are only attracted to the same sex when it comes to sexual attraction and the same sex when it comes to romantic attraction, but some people it's different. And then I don't know if you wanted to touch on this. You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but you said you're bisexual. Do you feel that your romantic attraction is the same as your sexual attraction? Like you are bi romantic when it comes to having attraction to both men and women.

Cheyenne: Um, personally, I don't think it's there. Um, and I feel like I said, I feel like if you don't fit in that exact category, then it's like over [00:14:00] and done with. You don't fit. You're not this. I'm only saying this because I personally have never dated a woman, um, in my life. So I can't really say that I am, but I know just from, you know, the outside of not doing that, I'm like, I don't think I am romantically.

Mirissa: Yeah, 

attracted to, 

Cheyenne: women. 

Mirissa: yeah, for women,

Cheyenne: Yeah,

Mirissa: which means, which just means that you are, yeah, like the bisexual thing is still there, but the romantic thing is definitely more heteroromantic. It's like you are romantically attracted to the opposite sex versus when it comes to your sexuality. It's a little bit more fluid, which I feel like is perfectly respectable. Just because when it comes to these things, I feel like different parts of our brain are activated when it comes to your deep emotional connections with people versus like who you think is hot. Cause like, you know, anybody could be hot, but you don't, that doesn't mean that you like want to date anybody. 

Cheyenne: for sure, for 

[00:15:00] sure. 

Mirissa: and so I just, and I definitely feel like, you know, this is something that's innate. Like you, it's not like you made up your mind one day and decided, Oh, I'm only going to date men. Even though I am attracted to both men and women. It's like, no, like you've just, this is just who you are.

Cheyenne: Right. Exactly.

Mirissa: I feel like people when they put a lot of these terms to it they think that it becomes more of a choice, like you're choosing to identify certain ways, like no, we're just putting like the language to how we identify, we're not choosing to be a certain type of way, we're just using these as identifiers, so I'm glad you were able to differentiate that for yourself when you were doing some of this research. Did anything about some of the stuff that you were looking up, did anything stand out to you or catch you off guard or that you thought was like just crazy as far as what some of people on like TikTok were saying? Because there were a few people that I'm just like, what?

Cheyenne: I saw people say, "unless you're Aro and Ace, this does not apply to you. Da da da da da. I didn't feel represented. Da da da da da." Uh, yeah. I mean, did you see [00:16:00] anything? Would you like to enlighten me that if you saw anything crazy or out of the wild? 

Mirissa: Yeah, I definitely saw that. So like the idea that like, this is just for asexual and aromantic people. Like if you don't identify as aro ace, like you can't use these, like, no, this literally that that's, that's so stupid just because like everyone. You know, and this is my opinion, listeners, by the way, you know, if you don't agree with my opinion, you don't have to agree. I'm just saying this is my opinion. This is how I feel, this is not exclusive to aromantic and asexual people then of course, since this applies to everyone, everyone's going to be different. Some things that stood out to me were that people make it seem like you have to live your life a certain type of way if you identify as these things. And it's like, no, not necessarily. Like, people that are aromantic can be in relationships and then people that are asexual can have sex. And it's like, that big of a deal. It's just like, people need to calm down. 

Cheyenne: I think that some people, and again, I'm going to point this back to, I hate to say like a race thing, but I feel like if you don't [00:17:00] identify or know anything about the normal thing, people are scared to think about the other stuff. Like of course, you know, like gay, lesbian, bi, pan, you know, like the simple stuff. But when you start. You know, adding all the other stuff, then people are scared, and then they're afraid that it's not as normal, that people know what that stuff is, so they don't really go into it, they just identify as normal stuff, 

Mirissa: Yeah. Yeah, I guess the complexity makes it scary. 

Cheyenne: I like to think that the white queer community is A lot more informed or just up to date on a lot more things than the Black queer community. Not saying that they aren't, but like, I don't know. I feel like when I, I have both Black and queer friends and of also of different ethnicities and races as well. And the conversations I have between the both are all completely different when it comes to anything about queer history, [00:18:00] community, everything. It's mind boggling. Cause then also. You talk to someone who's Black and queer, it's like, well, yes, you're a Black queer woman, but you're also Black first and then everything sense. 

Mirissa: hmm. 

Right. 

Cheyenne: if that makes So, 

Mirissa: It does 

Cheyenne: yeah, it's crazy to think about sometimes.

Mirissa: Yeah, no, you're exactly right because my experience is always going to be black first because that's what you see. Like no matter where I go, you know, there's nothing I can do to change the fact that I'm a black person. And then it's the female or woman part next. It's like, you know, I identify as a woman. I look like a woman. I, you know, act feminine if that makes sense. So I feel like that's the second thing that's just like, there's no like doubt about it. This is a black woman. Right. But then for me, I feel like When it comes to the queer part, I definitely identify as a queer person. I identify as a queerdo because I feel like I'm even, I'm like more queer than a lot of queer people because it's like a lot of queer people want to be in romantic relationships and I'm like, nah, I'm [00:19:00] good.

So 

Cheyenne: Nah, I'm good on that. 

Mirissa: I feel like, yeah, I'm like in an own little separate category, it's like a circle of like queer people and then I'm like in my own little circle with a few other queerdos because we're even more queer than queer people but yeah, so I definitely think that the fact that I'm queer is something that Does not stand out about me as much as being black and being a woman does however It's still a big part of who I am but with white people

Cheyenne: They embody, 

that. 

Mirissa: they make that, some people make it their whole personality and it's like good for you because like, I don't, 

Cheyenne: Which is okay, nothing's wrong with that. But you can tell. When it's just a little bit like, I don't know, it's like, do you, like, are you trying to make yourself oppressed or like, do you want to be that far off 

Mirissa: Like you wanna, you wanna go through a struggle? Like you want that? Like why would you want that?

Cheyenne: You want that? 

Mirissa: Right. Like if I, if I could, if I could [00:20:00] change anything about myself, I wouldn't. But like, if that, if that was a possibility, I wouldn't wanna have to go through any struggles. Like I would just be a white straight man because they're at the top of the pyramid. You know, struggle bus as real for like, it's, I'm not like saying that they don't have struggles, but my thing is their struggles are not based off their skin color. It's not based off of their sexuality, and it's not based off of them being a man. So the 

struggles are a little bit different. 

Okay. And as far as listeners out there, if you have a problem with anything that I just said, you don't have to listen to my podcast. I'm just saying, but my thing is if you agree with what I'm saying, you know, can I get an amen?

Because I just feel like there were a lot of white creators out there that, you know, that have these platforms that talk about this kind of stuff. And it's just like, I cannot relate because I'm not white, like, I'm, I'm a black queer person so my journey with this and the way I see the world and the way I'm experiencing this is very, very different and it's like I don't feel as strongly, I guess, necessarily about my queerness as I do about my [00:21:00] blackness because it's just like, You know, it is what it is. 

But yeah, I definitely, I definitely wanted to ask you about that when you were doing your research because it's just like, I want to know if Cheyenne peeped that these are all white people. 

Cheyenne: Oh, I sure did. And I only saw one Black girl, but I'm pretty sure she was trying to clock somebody for being funny on her page. So then she was like, let me explain it to you then. And see, it's that too. That's the problem too, is that if you, if you tell people that you identify as this or you do this, it's like they got to quiz you to, to, To fall under the 

category.

Why, why are 

Mirissa: Why, are 

you doing that? That's, that's, that is a little bit like a little weird just because it's just like, why can't people just identify as? whatever they identify as? It's not even that deep. and my thing is, if you, if you are, if you are someone that wants to fully understand, you know, who you are, your sexuality, whatever you identify as good for you, do the research, figure it out. If you're someone that is not really into [00:22:00] the labels and identifiers and stuff like, again, good for you. Cause like at the end of the day, it really don't matter. For me, it makes my life easier if I have terms and the language to put towards my experience, it makes it harder when I don't have those things. For other people I don't think they really care. Why, why are people trying to quiz them? Leave them alone. 

They don't care, but yeah, I'm glad. I'm definitely glad that you peep that though. But, um, now, so some of the. Some of the, the terms like the, the hetero, homo, bi, pan, romantic, and then same thing with the sexual stuff.

So had you ever heard any of those terms used in front of the, in front of romantic or had you only heard those terms used in front of sexual?

Because I had personally never heard of anyone being called a bi romantic person or a pan romantic person. I've only heard of bisexual, pansexual, homosexual. 

Cheyenne: Nope, I've heard of that. I've heard of, I've definitely heard of biromantic, [00:23:00] um, for sure. 

Mirissa: Okay, and see that was crazy because I'm like, I'm a, I was a, sociology major. Like, how do we Literally, I literally had never heard of any of this stuff and I'm like, did I research this? I'm just like, wait, where did these words come from? People, like it does seem like it's made up at the end, at the end of the day It's not, it's like it's, it's rooted in, you know, in, social science but it's also like really interesting to hear it for the first time as like a grown person because it's like, it's like we should have learned about this in school or something. And then the fact that like only white people are saying it's like well of course I've never heard it because only white people are saying it. I just think that's like one of the most wild things about it is just that there's not a lot of creators out there that have different experiences when it comes to The race part. And then also I feel like a lot of this is like an obviously this is a global thing that applies to anybody, but I also feel like it's a very like westernized American thing, if that makes sense. Like like, I don't see no, like a lot [00:24:00] of Asian creators, and stuff, if that makes sense. 

Cheyenne: Mm hmm. I think you're 100 percent correct. And, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. I don't know if it's because that, The latter decides just to live their life as it is without even trying to put labels or explain or do this, maybe because they're tired of explaining or saying whatever, or maybe they just don't care to do all of that, or if they just feel like because they're so used to seeing the, you know, I guess, quote, unquote, normal white people who. That's all you see. Like, even in media, that's all you see. You see a black woman in a lesbian relationship, it's with a white woman. You see a black man, it's always with a white man. You never really see them paired together like that. And if you do, it's rare, or they break them up, or they do something, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, I think some people just feel like because they don't see themselves, they just don't really speak on it. They probably know it exists, but You're like, what's the point?[00:25:00]

Mirissa: Absolutely. Yeah, I 100 percent agree because it's just like, you know, if it if you don't see the representation because I didn't see the representation. It's just like, oh, this must be a, an isolated situation, even though at the end of the day, it's probably not. I refuse to believe that I'm the only black queer female out here that identifies the way that I do just because there's too many, there's too many other black females out here. There's too many of us. I feel like there's someone out there made there. Obviously there, there's no other Mirissa's out there, but I feel like there's definitely some other, you know, black queer women out there that have maybe some similar, identifiers or labels that they use to express themselves.

I did want to ask you when you were coming across this, did you see the term "allo"? Allosexual or alloromantic?

Cheyenne: I did not,

Mirissa: You did not. 

Okay. 

Cheyenne: Nor do I know what it is.

Mirissa: Okay, so what allo, so basically think of allo as being the opposite of aro or ace. So when someone is an allosexual, it means [00:26:00] that they experience sexual attraction to, you know. They just experience it. It's not getting into the whole, like, hetero, homo, bi, whatever. It's just saying that they experience sexual attraction versus asexual people do not experience sexual attraction.

And then alloromantic are people that experience romantic attraction, want to be in a romantic relationship. And then aro is people that don't experience romantic attraction, don't want to be in a romantic relationship. And then of course all of this, just like the model, all of this exists like on a spectrum.

Or a better way to phrase it is probably instead of more of like a spectrum, it's more like a gradient because it's just like there's all these little areas where people can't really fall in like a linear spectrum, but more so on like a gradient scale, if that makes sense. Or maybe even a better way of putting it might be like even a bell curve.

If you were thinking that allo is on one end of a bell curve and aro is on the other end of the bell curve, I myself fall very much on the aro side. I don't fit in the middle where it's like most people are probably, you know, lean towards the allo side and [00:27:00] some they have some aromantic tendencies or ideologies or experiences.

I'm very much on like the I don't, I don't really fuck with like the, the allo stuff. It's just like, that's, that's too much for me. And that's on the romantic part, not on the sexual part. So part of that split attraction model is also understanding that you can experience sexual and romantic attraction, but then there are like subcategories to that.

And then with, you know, outside of those subcategories, there are people that don't experience those attractions at all, which is like the main people that use this model to express themselves, if that makes sense. But you know, you yourself would probably identify as a alloromantic, allosexual person. If you, if you desire a romantic relationship and if you, you know, have a sexual attraction in general, correct? 

Cheyenne: Yes. 

Mirissa: Okay, and now with all of that being said, do you, I [00:28:00] personally feel this way when it comes to the attraction model, but you know, other people may not feel this way. I personally think that people that, that do not identify as aromantic, um, and then of course you have that don't identify as asexual. We are a little bit at a disadvantage. than other people that identify on that, on that gradient spectrum, bell curve, whatever, just because it's like, the world was made for allo romantic and allosexual people, because it's like the quote unquote norm is for people to be romantically attracted to somebody, whether it be a man, woman, whatever, same sex, opposite sex, whatever, and be romantic and sexually attracted to something, somebody, anybody. Whereas people that are ace and aro, we're not attracted to anybody in that way. And it's like, one off putting and two, it's like the world wasn't built for us. Because it's like, you never, you never go to the movies and watch a movie about someone that's like, doesn't want to be in a romantic [00:29:00] relationship.

And like, like, no, there's no, there's no, like, uh, there's no, a protagonist in like a story that's just like that openly identifies as aromantic like they have no desire to ever date or anything and so I feel like this model kind of sheds some light on people that don't ascribe to that type of narrative and don't have the same privilege as allo people if that makes sense

Cheyenne: Yeah. Um,

 sorry. 

that 

was so much in 

Mirissa: that 

was so much you know how I get you know I get but really the point I'm trying to make here is there's a privilege that comes with allosexism and alloromanticism as far as like we, there's way more representation for people that have romantic attraction, sexual attraction than for people that don't have it. If that makes sense. Do you agree with that?

Cheyenne: Yes, I do agree with that. And I think, it's like that because again, people don't want to go out and learn something that is completely different than the norm, [00:30:00] because it's probably like the lesser known spectrum and orientation. It just kind of 

Mirissa: Mm. 

Cheyenne: You know, I wholeheartedly believe that for sure.

Mirissa: Gotcha. Everything that you were reading felt valid as far as this stuff isn't made up? These are real experiences that people are having. 

Cheyenne: Yeah, 

there wasn't anything that I felt that was made up. Um, I think people generally do their research and try to understand people and try to understand that people aren't just one sided. They're multi, multifaceted with things and personalities and everything. So, the people who do research and understanding how people are, they're doing a good thing. They are helping people who did not know much about themselves actually know about themselves and putting in categories and I personally think it just lets them know that they're not alone. That somebody has probably thought about the same thing that you [00:31:00] have. I know sometimes I can randomly look up the most niche thing on Reddit and somebody from 10 years ago said the 

Mirissa: same thing. 

Cheyenne: Asked said the same thing. I'm like, Whoa, like I thought this was pretty crazy. Like I didn't even think I was like,

Mirissa: absolutely.

Cheyenne: so the people who make these models and tell you that this is what this is and X, Y, Z and study it and all that stuff like that. Uh, I'm grateful, for them to be able to do that research because again, it definitely lets whoever identifies as that not feel that they're alone and that what they're thinking or feeling. It's valid. It's valid. 

Mirissa: Yes, girl. Amen. Amen. Well, thank you so much for coming to my TED Talk, Cheyenne. We're gonna, we're gonna pivot and we're gonna play a little game. So So for listeners, the game that we are playing today, uh, Cheyenne and I, we're going to, um, it's like a little game that I made up. So, as black women, hair is important to us. Okay. Hair is [00:32:00] like a staple in life for black women. If you're a black woman that's listening, like, you know, if you're not a black woman that's listening, like now, you know, okay. So the game that we are playing is. Hairstyles/wigs for the day of the week. So like we are going to I identify Hairstyles and wigs for a specific day of the week like what that day of the week would be if it were a hairstyle or A wig so I'll go first so Cheyenne can kind of get a minute to get her thoughts together about it So I'm starting with Monday.

So for Monday for me, if Monday were a hairstyle, it would be a low bun with like a side swoop bang and that could be with like Your natural hair, a relaxer ,or whatever or with like extensions So if you have like a bang if you have like braids You could do that with like knotless braids You could do like a low bun with like a side swoop bang in the front I just think that's like a Monday hairstyle. if Monday were a person that was a black girl That's how Monday would have her [00:33:00] hair, you know, um and then for Tuesday I feel like Tuesday is a curly wig, but like with like a middle part and like shoulder length, something real cute and curly. And I don't know. I just feel like Tuesday, if Tuesday were a black girl, she just need to be rocking something curly. Cause like, I feel like, I don't know, Tuesday is just like a vibe, 

right. It's giving curly.

Cheyenne: vision. 

Mirissa: just curly. Um, 

you see the vision? And so if Wednesday were a black girl, Wednesday would definitely have like a big fro with a Afro wig or just like natural fro with a scarf or like a headband. Like a scarf headband with like a fro, like seventies, eighties type of hairstyle, like with a big fro and then like a scarf headband. I don't know. I feel like Wednesday is just giving fro all day. Like it's just wednesday is, is just that a fro type of girl? Um, Thursday. is for to me would [00:34:00] be like a head wrap type of girl all about the scarves all about the head wraps and that could be with like hair coming out of it or you know or just all of the hair wrapped up so i could see thursday as having like a pineapple head wrap like with the natural hair coming out of the top or maybe like some butterfly locks coming out the top or with a head wrap on top and knotless braids coming down i just i don't know something about thursday in a head wrap. It's just like, or a scarf or something. It's just like, that's what Thursdays are. That's what Thursday's meant to do. 

Cheyenne: Got

Mirissa: juicy twist out all day. I don't know. Something about, something about, something about Friday is like, we go, we're juicy twist out. Like not just any twist. Y'all gotta be juicy cause it's Friday.

We are living our best life. Um, obviously any, any length of hair you can, you can kind of rock a twist out unless it's like real, real short, but like, Any, any length of juicy twist out. That's, that's Friday. Friday all day, juicy twist out. Saturday. [00:35:00] Saturday is 30 buss buss down period.

Cheyenne: 30 inch buss down.

Mirissa: For, for all listeners that don't know what a 30 inch buss down is, you're we're thinking, um, sleek, straight wig, middle part, 30 inches, that's like all the way down your back, like 30 inch buss down like all day. Um, if not 30 inch, like let's say it's like that kind of sat, like if it's, if Saturday is that girl 30 inch buss down, but let's say Saturday is more chill.

Like, it's, there's like the, there's like Hot Girl Saturday and then there's like Chill Saturday. Chill Saturday is like, um, is like a curtain bang wig with bouncy curls. So, whatever Saturday you are, it, or whatever Saturday, it is definitely going to be a wig, but either it's 30 inch buss down or it's the curtain bangs with the bouncy curls.

Like very, like Farrah Fawcett y type hair. 

but yeah, so I, yeah, so I, feel like, because my thing is like, if you're having a Hot Girl Saturday, You, you rocking that 30 inch buss [00:36:00] down period. But if you're having like a, just like a, I don't know, just like a chill diva Saturday, you rocking the Farrah Fawcett wig.

So, and then Sunday is Bob wig. I don't know what it is about Sundays, but I feel like you gotta be rocking a Bob. On a Sunday, cause like, that could, if Sunday were a black girl, Sunday would be going to brunch with the Bob, Sunday could go to church with the Bob, Sunday could go run errands with the Bob, like you can do anything with the Bob, so, Those are my days of the week if they were hairstyles, I um, I literally just like came up with this off the top of my head, it wasn't like a, I put some thought into some of them, but most of them is just like, When you envision what a Monday black girl would be, that's, that's what came to mind.

Like these are the, what came to mind when I just envisioned it. So Cheyenne, 

you can start with 

Cheyenne: Miss 

Mirissa: want. 

Cheyenne: whoever is doing your hair this week, she is booked and busy because that is

wicked. 

Mirissa: That, yeah, that's okay. [00:37:00] So listeners, what, what Cheyenne is getting at is this is virtually impossible for any black girl to jump from these hairstyles from day to day. Like you just can't. Do it because you just 

the time money 

Cheyenne: Two of them are possible,

maybe

Mirissa: Right all week if you're just jumping from wigs to natural to braids to head No, it's like nah, you you you it's like if this were reality This would not be possible. Like this is why this this is a game because this could truly only be Played outside of reality It does not work in the real world, but um, but yeah So obviously these I'm only ascribing these days of the week to like hair hairstyles if these days were Actual people versus if this was one person trying to switch it up because that could never probably happen unless you have

Cheyenne: okay, because I was doing

it 

one 

Mirissa: Yeah, no, no, no.

No, No, I if you do it as one per I mean you can think about it that way if you want to but I'm thinking about it as if Monday were a black [00:38:00] girl what would she look like? If Tuesday wore a black girl, what would she look like? If Wednesday wore a black girl, what would she look like? I'm not thinking about Mirissa on Monday would have her hair like this. Mirissa on Tuesday would have her hair like this. Like, you can think about it like that! If you want to, 

Cheyenne: right, babe. 

Mirissa: but I didn't think about it like that. 

Because 

Cheyenne: I'm gonna do it 

the way you thought about it. I'm gonna start with Sunday. I feel like Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday is a church going gal. So her hair is either going to be in that little, that little angled bob. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's like a bob, but it's kind of like short in the back. 

Mirissa: yeah. 

Cheyenne: Yeah, it's either going to look like that or it's going to look like a pixie cut like fantasia cut 

Mirissa: okay, pixie cut 

Cheyenne: with 

Mirissa: That That 

Cheyenne: she's 

wearing, 

Mirissa: Auntie going to church 

cut, yeah. 

Cheyenne: big, a big hat. She's going to be wearing a big hat sitting right there on Sunday school. She'll be right up in the front with a big hat. So that's Sunday. Sunday is sophisticated. She be a church going girl, [00:39:00] but we ain't putting no much on Sunday. Monday, see Monday, she had that, that hairstyle going on, so it could have been like her hair hair, or she could have been wearing a wig. So if she was wearing a 

Mirissa: hmm. 

Cheyenne: I have a feeling that her hair was going to be in twist. So Monday, kind of like her off day, she got to go to work, she got the twist in her hair. So she either put it on, 

Mirissa: my Monday, too

Cheyenne: she either took out them twists, and she put the thing in a high pineapple puff. That's Monday because she's simple. She had a, she had a long weekend cause we didn't even get to Saturday yet. Hold on now, we didn't get to saturday yet. She had a long weekend. hair, she tired. She had the puffs, but she got the puff on. That's monday, 

Mirissa: Monday, okay 

It 

Cheyenne: Tuesday, my Tuesday is similar to your Tuesday because I just feel like Tuesday

is 

that. 

Mirissa: it isn't it that day 

for that? This is for the curls man Like, you know,

Cheyenne: right? you know, I 

Mirissa: like [00:40:00] it's a curly wig, but it could be the natural it could be any kind of curls But I just feel like Tuesday is curly

Cheyenne: see Tuesday, you know, they got that sauna club going off on Tuesday. That's usually happy 

happy hour day. 

Mirissa: okay?

Cheyenne: So she definitely sport in the, the curly wig or she's sporting her own curly hair and is out and about, out and about. So she is enjoying her day. 

Mirissa: wash and go could be a curly, could be a curly tuesday situation? Okay, wash and go. Okay, okay. We see 

it. The 

Cheyenne: a 

wash and go. She spritzed her hair the day before.

Yeah. 

so she got 

that going on. 

Mirissa: and go is, research it. Wash and go. That's literally 

Cheyenne: Yeah. 

Mirissa: Like figure it out.

Cheyenne: We're not here to explain everything, right? Right. Um, Wednesday, Wednesday is hump day, but I feel like on this hump day, she was trying to make herself look real good. Cause you know, Wednesday, Wednesday has somebody she wanted to see.

So she's going to make herself look good. She's a midpoint of the week. Wednesday probably got on a little thing. [00:41:00] I want to say she had on a straight wig, but it won't like a buss out. She's a normal regular regular straight wig, but she looked good,

you know, simple. Yeah,

Mirissa: I 

Cheyenne: then we gearing up for the week. We gearing up for the week.

So now we got Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. We're gearing up for the weekend. Thursday? Hmm, I feel like Thursday is that girl too.

Mirissa: Okay. Okay. Thursday. I see you.

Cheyenne: Thursday? Thursday got on, she got butterfly

locks. 

This is it. 

Mirissa: Yes. We love to 

Cheyenne: Pacific on the butterfly lock. That is a cute hairstyle. And she got on some black, some, some, some gold jewelry. She got on a nose ring. You know, she's giving

Earthy Boho Girl maybe a little bit

Mirissa: Yes. Boho girl. Thursday. Hey, I like 

Cheyenne: And then Friday, Friday is probably, she's still gonna have, [00:42:00] you know, some butterfly locks, but I think, but I think, she's gonna wear this butterfly locks with a wrap on her hair.

Mirissa: Okay. And see that 

was, that was, my 

vision for Thursday with the head wrap with the 

locks or the braids or whatever. But okay, but I see what you're doing. I see what you're doing. You're trying to, you're trying to tap into the reality. I was outside of, I was outside of this world. You trying to tap into, someone could actually do this.

Cheyenne: Yeah, I'm trying to make a little realistic for the listeners, you know, it's something that they can do and then Saturday Saturday's when she show out for real

Mirissa: 30 inch buss 

Cheyenne: the muscle She either got the 30 inch buss down or she got the 30 inch braid

down 

Mirissa: Okay. I see 

you. 

Cheyenne: middle part like the braids are crisp.

She sat in that chair for eight hours, they did one for her butt, actually they passed 

her 

butt, 

and they longed for the is that [00:43:00] girl. She got some type of buss down and she going out

for the 

Mirissa: Okay. Period. 

Cheyenne: Yo, that's, that's my

hair 

Mirissa: That's your hair 

of the week. I love, we love to see it. So people out there, if you have no idea what Cheyenne and I were talking about, you just not a part of this black girl hair style space, um, research, figure it out. I'm not finna explain all of this to you cause that's what the internet's for.

And then if you are very much aware of everything that we just talked about. Literally, like let me know if you, if you do this, if you like literally go day to day and you switch it up, if you are that girl that switches up every day, I love you, I don't know who you are, but I love you, I want to be you when I grow up, like, I, I commend your effort, especially if you're doing it all by yourself, if you have like a team of stylists, like that's, you're a baller, like you're a boss ass bitch if you're able to do that, but If you're doing it by yourself, switching it up every day, like you do your own braids and stuff, please be in Charlotte, North Carolina.

So [00:44:00] you can help a girl out.

Cheyenne: of all, be in New York City because how I'm a black girl at this big age of 24 and I can't even 

cornrow 

Mirissa: I can't even like. I can flat twist like nobody's business like I got you if you want your hair flat twisted, but cornrow, huh? We went from two strands to 

three, huh? I No, no, ma'am. No, sir I mean in low key you got me lost at the wash and go to you because I can't I tried to do watching on My own hair and it was not it was not going 

Cheyenne: I have 

perfected it. 

Girl, I perfected it. 

Mirissa: your hair likes you I 

think that's what that 

Cheyenne: a lot of water. Drench that, drench it.

Mirissa: I tried my, my hair just, she just has a vendetta against me. I think that's what it is. I think she just don't like me. 

Cheyenne: It's 

Mirissa: She likes me when, yeah, no, my hair is definitely a Thursday. If I were to say what day of the week my hair was, my hair is a Thursday because she wants to be in a head wrap or in some braids and left alone. She's like, [00:45:00] don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me. 

Leave me alone. Leave me alone. And there's nothing wrong with that because Thursdays are cute. Thursday is cute. Head wraps are cute. Braids are cute. Locks are cute. All of the things that happen on Thursday are cute. However, not every day is Thursday.

Cheyenne: Yeah. 

Yeah. 

Mirissa: And I just feel like if I want to have a curly girl day on Tuesday, Thursday's not having it. And I'm just like, that's a little rude. But you know. Struggles of a black, with a black woman.

Cheyenne: Mad

Mirissa: Okay, so, 

Cheyenne: Woman.

Mirissa: So that's the end of our little game. Um, so the next thing is, uh, Rips and Rants. So this segment of the show is called Rips and Rants.

So Rips being R. I. P. So rest in peace, or pieces, whichever one, you know, good or bad. R. I. P. s and, um, rants. So, I'm gonna go first before Cheyenne goes. So for me, this week, my rip, my R. I. P. is the original Teen Titans, the animated show on Cartoon [00:46:00] Network, because all five seasons are on Prime right now, and I've been watching it like religiously, I freaking love that show, it was so good, like the animation was good, because it was a cross between regular cartoon animation and anime.

It wasn't anime, but it kind of was, if that makes sense. And the setup for each season was so good. And then also Starfire was robbed from that show because she never had her own season, like her own journey across the season. Everyone had one. Robin had one. Beast Boy had one. Raven had one. Cyborg had one. And then Terra, that traitor, she had a whole season. She had a whole arc, but Starfire never got an arc. And I'm just like, that's a little rude. They robbed Starfire. I just feel like that's, that's low key canon with the comics, because Starfire was disrespected in a lot of those comics, but I don't feel like she. She does that Starfire in in this show did not deserve what she got. She got robbed of a whole season. So I think they need to bring that show back and make a season like I don't even I [00:47:00] watch the new Teen Titans go whatever like it's cute it's funny but like the original top tier 10 would recommend hands down it's on prime right now it's free. 

Cheyenne: they just celebrated, um, maybe like the 15 or 20 something year of that show.

Mirissa: Oh really? 

Cheyenne: Yeah. Like, just passed.

Mirissa: Yeah 

Cheyenne: but yes, you're you're right. 

Mirissa: voice acting? I know Tara Strong does because she's a legend.

Cheyenne: Tara Strong does for sure. Um, the guy who plays Beast Boy, yeah. I think if they do still do things, it's like really low key, but Tara Strong for sure.

Mirissa: Yeah, I don't know if all of the original voice actors are on the Teen Titans Go show, but if they 

Cheyenne: I think one or two of them are. I want to say one or two of them are. I don't think they completely replaced all of them. Yeah, so the guy who played [00:48:00] Beast Boy in the OG one and then in the GO is the same person. Tara Strong still plays Raven, but I'm not sure about the other three ones. Cyborg, Starfire 

Mirissa: Okay. 

Cheyenne: who Robin place, 

Mirissa: Yeah. 

So anyway, that's my, that's my RIP. 

 I miss that show so much. No, because for real, like, I don't think it's ever going to come, they're never going to bring it back. Like, I feel like they've. They have plenty of time, you said what, 15 years or so since that show was like originally aired.

They've had plenty of time to bring it back and they haven't, so R. I. P. And then my rant. Oh, this is a good one. So my rant for this week is when someone is driving behind you and they have their high beams on for absolutely no reason. Like that, I have a whole, like, this is my rant about this. Cause this, this pisses me off. If we are in a well, if we're on the interstate or like a well lit road anywhere, why are your high beams on? Turn them off. And like, like, what, what, [00:49:00] like, do you not realize that they're on like literally your car indicates when your high beams are on and like you can, like, you can see the difference when like your regular headlights on and then when your high beams are on and the fact that you are behind me and half the time the people that have their high beams on are like riding my tail. I know you can clearly see me in front of you because you're riding my, you're riding me. So turn your high beams off that pisses me off like so much and I feel like it happens to me at least like twice a week. Like no matter what somebody's gonna get behind me with some high beams on and I swear I'd be like at a stoplight I'd be about to get out the car and go back there and just be like can you turn your Like I'm mad That just I just I don't know if anybody else has road rage the same way that I do like my road rage ain't even That deep but when it comes to them high beams. Oh, I hate it. I hate it so much cuz there's 

Cheyenne: coming from a big truck either because it's the worst.

Mirissa: First of all, you wanna be in a big ass [00:50:00] truck like I know you can see And then like it also, it also even kind of pisses me off when I'm on like a dark, like two lane road. Cause like when I have to go to like my mom's house, I have to drive on a dark two lane road. But if I'm in front of you with my high beams on and you're behind me and you're like following me pretty closely, you don't need to have your high beams on because you're behind me.

Like. I feel like we learned that in driver's ed, but maybe everybody didn't take the same driver's ed. I don't know, but I just, the high beams, like I'm really, I'm 

really about to go off on some people with the high beams.

Cheyenne: that's why you slowly turn one of the mirrors up towards the high beam and flash them

themselves. 

Mirissa: done that a couple of times and some people have turned them off and some people haven't. And I think that some people are literally just like in their own little world in their car and are oblivious to the fact that they have their high beams on. And I feel like those people should not be driving because they're one, either drunk or two, Don't have the like the mental capacity to be driving a car if they leave their high beams on in well [00:51:00] lit areas like why?

Are they even on?

Cheyenne: Yeah. 

Mirissa: The road is lit

So that is my rant. Let me stop before I get even more upset than I already let me let you Let me let you go. You can do your rant or your or your rip first Cheyenne. It doesn't matter which one

Cheyenne: Um, my rip? What's the rips again?

Mirissa: You're are your RIP. So rest in peace or rest in pieces

Cheyenne: Okay, So 

Mirissa: It could be anything 

Cheyenne: So for the people that don't know me, I am a big like film, TV, enthusiast,

buff, 

nerd, whatever you want to call it. And I guess my rip of this week would be the literal Oscar nominations. They came out yesterday. 

And first off, If there's one thing to be excited about the Oscar nomination, it's to be excited for Danielle Brooks, who [00:52:00] played, I want to say, Sophia in the new Color Purple movie. Um, Sterling K. Brown, um, I didn't watch the movie that he played in, but that's exciting too. And who's the other person? Um, I think there's like one or two more people. I also want to shout out the animated movie Across the Spider Verse. My favorite movie, but I'm highlighting those ones because they're specifically black people or black characters and I don't know about you, but I'm a black woman and I am rooting for everybody black forever and always. I don't care. 

Mirissa: Always. Period. 

Cheyenne: and those are really big accomplishments. That is a lot of people of black men who have gotten Oscar nominations. So first off, let me just say a shout out to them and I'm so glad and I hope one of them or all of them win because we deserve it. Um, the other half of this is the Oscar nominations suck. They have sucked for years. A lot of people have been snubbed. [00:53:00] Um, like, Angela Bassett has been snubbed for years. She should have got it for Tina Turner. She should have got it for Black Panther. She should have got it for playing freaking Michael Jackson's mom in that one movie. Like she has been snubbed. And then they had the audacity to give her an honorary one this year

Mirissa: disrespect 

Cheyenne: on whatever, like it's just like, okay, here, whatever. You got it. Then I think they did that. I don't remember who they did it to, but I want to say they did it to Samuel l. Jackson or 

Denzel. 

Mirissa: about to say Samuel L. Jackson has been snubbed so many freaking times.

Cheyenne: I'm pretty sure they gave him an honorary one, too, and I feel Like 

Mirissa: honorary one too. 

Cheyenne: Those are slaps in the face to me because you know, I should have deserved it 

and I'm not discrediting everybody else's work, but come on, be for real. And first off, so like, be freaking for real. You have them tell me that the movie they cloned Tyrone didn't make a nomination, um, that is Across the Spider Verse [00:54:00] didn't get a nomination for the score, but just only got animated movie that can go on a whole rant 

about that.

Um, how You know, barbie, Margot Robbie and, um, Greta Gerwig didn't get one for the Barbie movie and having best director, best actor, blah, blah, blah, blah. I can, like, I can go on about a lot of people that got snubbed and how many years of people getting snubbed. Um, so that would be, so That would be my rip of the week or. 

Mirissa: whole episode. 

Cheyenne: Yeah, like that could be a whole episode in its own thing. Um, so I'm gonna leave it at that. And then if I had a rant, I would say my rant, which I guess is also a rip too, is the world. And it's just like, I'm angry at the world because they keep moving the goalpost for people. It's like, you get your degree, now it's not good. You do this? No, it's not good. [00:55:00] You can't, most people can't afford to live out on their own. I live in New York City. I would love to live on my own. I would love to be able to do this. But no, I can't. I have to live with family. I have to live with roommates. Da da da da da. To how long? Then I hear that people want to raise the, the retirement age to 70. How does that even make sense when most people aren't even living till 80? No. So my, I am angry at the world. I am angry at where the country we live in just not helping their own citizens and doing better. 

Like, 

Mirissa: Period. It's sad. It's really sad.

Cheyenne: annoying. It's, it's sad and it's annoying and it just 

Mirissa: Could also be a whole episode 

for a podcast. 

Cheyenne: So I'm gonna get off my 

Mirissa: Give me content. Give me content. Oh, yeah, that's that's secretly my little plot behind the rips and the rants bro. Try to get some No, i'm just kidding but [00:56:00] um, but yeah, so okay, so your rip is Oscar nominations and your rant is the the world just screwing everybody When it comes to trying to make a living and get ahead in life. Is that right? 

Okay. Amen 

You got the gist of the game. So yeah, so for any of you, uh, listeners out there That want to give me your rips and your rants. I do we're gonna do different ones every week Guests pay attention if you're listening to this episode if you're gonna be a future guest, you know who you are Get your rips and your rants ready because we gonna talk about them and I need this content 

Anyway, okay, so moving on so the next thing is word of the week.

If you don't, if you don't have a word of the week, that's fine. I'm just gonna give you my word of the week, which is, um, limerence. I think that's just such a, such a cute little word like limerence. Like, I like that word limerence. I like to say it. 

Cheyenne: what, is limerence? 

Mirissa: So limerence is an involuntary state of intense desire for someone. So basically like the, the PC word [00:57:00] for having a crush or like lusting after someone, like infatuation. It's limerence. But limerence sounds so much better than infatuation. Yeah, 

Cheyenne: It 

Mirissa: so it's so that word is actually very ironic because it's like I, I don't identify with limerence really at all. Like, but I like to say it because it's cute.

Um, did you, did you have a word, 

Cheyenne?

Cheyenne: That's a very good word, 

Mirissa: Thank you. 

Cheyenne: no, I don't have a word of 

the week, but I have a word of the year.

Mirissa: Oh, what's your word like the, of the 

year 2023? Like 

of that year? 

Cheyenne: 2024. 

Mirissa: Oh, of the 2024. 

Okay. Okay. This current 

year. Okay. 

Cheyenne: No, yeah, this current year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, last year I had a word, so yeah. Um, so my word of the year is determination.

And everybody already knows what determination means. I am determined to make [00:58:00] all of my possible goals and future endeavors actually happen. I am going to be very persistent. I am going to be very

determined 

to get everything and anything that I want.

Here so that is my word 

Mirissa: I, I like that word. I think that's a good word. I'm right there with you with determination too, because I literally have been talking about doing this podcast for so long and I'm just now doing it. And so, yeah, determination is a good word. I feel like everyone could use a little bit of that. I'm determined to get this podcast together. So thank you, Cheyenne. I like your word. Okay. So music wreck of the week. So my, so I don't have a song or album or anything that I'm recommending for this week, but I am recommending an artist, Sabrina Claudio. Now, for those of you that know, Sabrina Claudio, she's had some bouts of being problematic/canceled. I don't care about any of that just because like her as an artist, her, her voice and her shows and things like that. I [00:59:00] respect as well as the people that are part of her team. I respect them as well. And I feel like she puts out some bomb artistry. I really, really, really vibe with her music, which is also ironic because it is very, romanticized. It's like very, very, very romantic R& B, but I really have been listening to a lot of her music, recently. I just really, really like it. I've been in a Sabrina Claudio type of mood, so I am shouting her out on my podcast as my music rec for this week. So Sabrina Claudio, check her out. The album that I'm currently listening to, like on repeat right now, is called, archives and lullabies. And that came out last year. So that was one of my top albums of 2023. But I really, really, really like Sabrina Claudio. So Cheyenne listeners, that is my music rec for this week.

Cheyenne, did you have anything that you want to recommend? 

Cheyenne: I don't really have like anything that dropped or anything But I will tell you the song that I have been spamming and [01:00:00] Mirissa and listeners out there, do not make fun of me, I emphasize again that I am a nerd at heart. I don't have any particular music that I listen to. I have things that I won't listen to, but when you see my, my playlists and my things, it ranges from rock, to pop, to anime intros, to music soundtracks and scores. It. Rap, everything. And so 

the one song that I've been spamming is the Trolls 3 movie that came out a couple months ago and I just watched the movie so it's the trolls that sing like the song, it's practically like pitch perfect for Trolls and animating and stuff like that. I believe Justin Timberlake plays the main guy and Anna Kendrick who played the main girl in Pitch Perfect, ironically, um, is the main girl and it's called like the band's back together or something like that. And it's like, they're going on this [01:01:00] little road trip trying to get the band back together. And it's like boy bands and all this stuff. Like, and so the song that I've been listening to is called, um, 

give me a second. give me a second. Hold on. It is called, uh, better. It's, it's called Better Place and it's all the trolls, all the troll brothers and they're singing this song and it's like, it's so good. Y'all watch it. And it has Justin Timberlake singing that song, Eric Andre, Daveed Diggs, if y'all know him from Hamilton, uh ha ha. Um, it has Kid Cudi, everybody, if you don't know who Kid Cudi, like, be for real. And it has troye Sivan. Everybody knows who Troye Sivan is. Yeah, so all of them are all brothers in the movie, and they sing in this song, and it's really, so check out Trolls 3, the movie, watch it, have fun with it. I know if it's not your forte, it's cause you're lame, and you can't enjoy a simple movie, and just enjoy it for what it is. So, [01:02:00] Trolls 3, check out the soundtrack too. Mhmm, that is my rec. Oh my 

Mirissa: Thank you for putting me on to Trolls 3. I appreciate that rec. Listeners, y'all better appreciate that rec, too. This is a judgment free zone. No negativity. Positivity only. Okay? We are not judging Cheyenne's rec. So, I'm definitely gonna check out Trolls 3 because what's crazy is that I was listening to the Trolls version of September by Earth, Wind, and Fire the other day with my client and it was so funny because that's one of his favorite songs and he was listening to that and he was like he was like looking like wait a minute this version is a little different. I'm like who is singing this and it was the trolls and I'm like, I love this so much. But yeah, their covers are good and their original songs are good. So I'm, I'm here for anything trolls related because listen, just because it's a kid's movie, adults made a kid's movie. There are adult actors playing, you know, the trolls. So like for anybody that's like, well, that's a kid's movie. Like you're an idiot because again, that's my opinion, but my opinion is that you're an idiot. [01:03:00] If you're like, I'm not going to watch that or listen to that because it's for kids, like it's really not because adults made it. And adults are starring in it. So, nice try. Okay, so, you already kind of gave your, your film rec of the week, which was, you know, Trolls 3, I guess. Did you have any other ... 

but that's 

Cheyenne: okay, I got a show.

I 

Mirissa: Oh, you have a show rec. Okay, go ahead, go ahead.

Cheyenne: have two show recs.

Um, right now I'm watching The Sopranos, The Sopranos just celebrated their 25 years of it being made and I figured I should watch it, because I feel like it's one of the cult classics that happened, back in the day, so Sopranos, I'm watching that and it's pretty good so far and I think also it's just kind of funny because it literally took place in New Jersey and I don't know about y'all but up until like, I really explored. I've never really been to Jersey. Like, I would drive through it, go to New York, or to go anywhere else, but I never really explored New Jersey like that. So, it's literally In New Jersey. So watch The Sopranos, you know, one day in your life. 

And then the other thing I'm watching is the Percy Jackson [01:04:00] series that is on disney Plus. Based off the book it's cute. The actors are doing a really good job. They're so sweet. You know, child actors are adorable. They're so sweet, man. It's just kind of fun to see that the movie that I, not the movie, the book that I read as a middle schooler is now on the big screen. Like, I know we had the movie version of that. Like, I don't care what anybody says. Like, obviously that movie was quote unquote terrible, but It was fun to watch, which is why I like it. 

Mirissa: Yeah. Yeah.

Cheyenne: Yeah. So, seeing like a show version of it is cute and I really enjoy that. So, just give them both a watch. Again, you can watch shows and films without trying to be This has to be critically acclaimed. This has to make me think, da, da, da, da, da. You can enjoy films and TV shows as just something fun to watch, as something mindless in your thought. And just enjoy it for what it is. Like, it doesn't have to be the best thing. And I think some people really take that away from watching shows. They'll be like, well, it was [01:05:00] terrible because it didn't have this or like that. They do that a lot with Marvel movies, especially the ones that have been coming out the last couple of years. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't enjoy, um, Thor Love and Thunder like that, you know, if I, if I want to explain why, but I enjoyed it because it was fun to watch, you 

Mirissa: Right. 

Cheyenne: you can watch something that is just fun. That is it.

Mirissa: All right, listeners, you heard it here first from Cheyenne. Just, just watch something because it's fun. Like chill out does not have to be critically acclaimed. You don't have to be a movie reviewer or whatever. Like it ain't that deep. Just watch it. Okay, people put time and effort into that stuff. Like you, You can watch it, you know, um, so yeah, so, um, so Trolls 3, Sopranos, and the Percy Jackson series on Disney plus. Okay. So yeah, those are, those are cool. I like the diversity of your recommendations. So for me, TV show of the week for me, I'm pretty sure everybody that's going to listen to this has already seen this, but anyway, squid [01:06:00] game on Netflix. I watched it in two days, the whole, the whole series, or the whole season. Um, And then I'm now watching the Squid Game Challenge, the reality show. So, I think everyone should watch Squid Game. I personally think that it should be watched, if possible on Netflix, watch it in Korean with English subtitles.

I feel like that's better just because the dubs are a little weird. That's like, that's my personal thing if you want to watch it with the, with the English dubs, you know, whatever, but yeah, I think that's a really good show for anyone to watch just because like it hits on some very, very, controversial and, intense things that go on in society and it's based, in Korea or whatever, but my thing is, those are global issues that they're touching on the principles that are touched on in that show can happen anywhere. It's not just isolated to one place. But yeah, it was a really, really, really, fun show to watch. It was an interesting show to watch. I really enjoyed watching it. I think the reason why I hadn't watched it at all was because I thought it was scary because I [01:07:00] was so freaked out by the trailer of it. And so I don't do horror. I don't do scary. I don't do any of that. So I didn't watch it for the longest time, even though it had been on my list to watch. And then I finally just watched it with one of my friends and Oh my God, the show was so good. No wonder people were freaking out about it when it first came out and everybody was watching it.

So, I'm also recommending the reality show that's based off of Squid Game just because, they are taking, you know, 400 something people and doing a reality show based off of the actual show. And they're doing it very closely to the real thing.

Obviously, they're not. You know, spoiler alert, people die in squid game. So, you know, no one dies in the reality show, but but as far as them being canon about the reality show in comparison to the real show. It's really really good And I appreciate you know, obviously You know, the show was made in Korea with Korean actors and stuff like that. I appreciate that there's a lot of diversity in the reality show. You're not getting all the same people from the same walks of life Everybody's [01:08:00] very very different And the people that are doing well in the game are people that I don't think you would assume that would be doing Very well in the game.

So Watch it. Check it out. If anybody wants to debate anything about the show they thought was like off with the reality show versus the real show come at me on social media because i'm down for any debate about that show but yeah so that's my recommendation as far as tv for this week 

Cheyenne: Solid choices. I should definitely give, uh, the reality show a watch. I know I heard a lot of controversy about that. 

Mirissa: Yeah it's definitely controversial like it's a it's one of those things where it's just like Should this have ever been turned into a reality show, but like, you can't stop watching it, you know?

Cheyenne: Right.

Mirissa: Okay. So last but not least are the shout outs and shameless plugs. So, for me guys, follow me on X/Twitter @hatemyvoicepod um, Instagram @hatemyvoicepod1. And if you have the time, the funds, whatever, follow me, or [01:09:00] excuse me, not follow me, but, um, become a member on my Patreon, patreon.com/ihatethesoundofmyownvoice and shout out to Cheyenne for being my guest and I'm going to let her give out her shout outs and shameless plugs now. 

Cheyenne: Yeah, so, um, once again, I'm Cheyenne, or you can call me Chai. You can find me on IG, Twitter, or TikTok. Emphasis on TikTok as ChaiMander. That is C H A I M A N D E R R that is Chaimanderr similar to Charmander. But yeah, so give me a look, a follow. If you just wanted to hear whose voice the picture lines up to, it's me. I talk about a lot of film, anime, and random other things I get into this city and yeah. So, um, thank you, Mirissa for having me on. I really had a great time talking to everybody and just hoping the best for this podcast. 

Mirissa: Thank you so much, Cheyenne. 

Thank you guys so much for listening to you I hate the sound of my own [01:10:00] voice the very first episode with my girl Cheyenne just remember this is the aro-space, this is a safe space. It's all about learning as much as you can during these episodes. I would love to hear from anybody that has any feedback or any questions. Make sure you reach out to me at the social media I mentioned before. All right. I think that's it for this episode. I'm wrapping it up. Peace out, G.I.R.L Scouts.